Sunday, December 21, 2008

Solstice

Well thank God for that; it's the shortest day. Now the days get longer! Not that you can actually notice until mid-February, but still. It does mean it's the Christmas season in earnest; two weeks of being jolly and pleasant and polite in company. But there's other things to look forward too; films on TV! Not the usual Christmas films but the special ones involving my friend Stan. Here's the list from two years ago; some of them will be repeated (endlessly), but here's a few that I've not mentioned before:

Iron Stan

Stan is captured by terrorists and put to work in a secret cave. He builds a flying suit equipped with a cabbage firing bazooka and escapes. Getting home he builds a better suit and renames himself "Gold-Titanium Alloy Stan" and generally does good and defeats bald men with beards while drinking a lot.

King Stan Vs Stanzilla

Stan gets a monkey suit AND a lizard suit for Christmas. Unfortunately he gets drunk and stumbles through his scale model of Tokyo, wrecking it.

Tequila Stanrise

Stan drinks cocktails and listens to the Eagles. His best friend wants to put him in jail. They both fall for the same woman. Hijinks ensue.

The Day That Stan Stood Still

Remake of the 1951 classic. Stan turns up on Earth with a giant robot dressed in underpants. There's some kind of threat that requires mankind to not nuke themselves or maybe save the environment or something. Hardly any drinking takes place.

The Stanford Wives

Stan moves into town to discover all the wives are fawning, submissive and impossibly beautiful. Maybe they're robots, maybe they've been reprogrammed by a psychologist, maybe it's just a metaphor for gender conflict; trying to figure it out drives Stan to drink.

Stanship Troopers

Stan joins the Mobile Infantry and fights Bugs, and comes to the conclusion that the only good Bug is a dead one. As a result he becomes Hero of Planet P and gets lots of free drinks.

Stanship Troopers 2: Hero of the Staneration

Stan gets trapped in an outpost surrounded by Bugs and full of convicts and assorted troopers. Is there a traitor in the tower or have the Bugs been able to build a human replica or is it just the convicts trying to escape? Whichever option it is, it's the kind of situation that calls for a drink.

Stanship Troopers 3: Stanauder

Stan gets in a barfight with a general and is sentenced to death. Meanwhile the singing Sky Marshal has a religious revelation which threatens to bring down the Staneration. The solution? Flying armoured suits made of Gold-Titanium Alloy with cabbage-firing bazookas crewed by condemned criminals!

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