The Secret Diary Of Major Squick 5d

Previously Major Squick has attempted to trap bandits by disguising his soldiers as women. This has gone wrong and now he must try to repair the damage, at some personal cost.

20 J__ 18__

Success! It seems that the bandits had only just returned to their camp, and in their haste had neglected to search the baggage before beginning to make unwelcome advances to the "local women" they had captured. Just at the moment when they penetrated the disguises, I and my detachment arrived and took the bandits from the rear. We captured them all without a fight.

There was however one casualty, myself. In the excitement of the skirmish, I was knocked from my feet and landed on an asp, which bit me in the behind. The surgeon, seeing this occur, swiftly pulled down my breeches and sucked the poison from the wound. Other than a slight fever, and my current inability to sit or lie on my back, I have suffered no ill effects.

Somehow in the chaos, the uniforms of the disguised men have gone missing. They will have to march back in their current clothes. I hope the Colonel will forgive this breach of discipline in the light of my successes; I am sure the Sergeant-Major will not.

Sucking the poison from a snake wound is usually not a good idea as you tend to end up with 2 poisoned people; the surgeon is either lucky or an expert.

(Major Squick begins here; link to all of Major Squick here. )