Friday, November 22, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: 80s High School Comedy

Miss Stein cannot be here today
A German biker gang took her away
We think that she went willingly
Until she’s back, I’ll be taking history

Number 318 is this piece of nonsense that could be a scene in a low budget 80s high school comedy, but probably isn't one.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Baby Steps

There’s a full bag of coloured plastic toys
Suitable for little girls and for little boys
But if I want you to sit still then for a start
I’d be better off giving you a tissue to tear apart

Number 317 is why I need to get the vacuum cleaner out.

365 Poems in 365 Days: One Colour of Wine

Met a girl who’s pretty bright
But it seems from what she said
That she thought all wine was white
(Mummy doesn’t drink the red)

316. Girl in this context is 8 years old.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Pantoum about A Pantoum

Is the meaning of the change intentional or not?
A challenge and a wager is given.
I honestly don't think it matters a lot;
Nevertheless my side has been chosen

A challenge and a wager is given,
A side bet on a witty commentary.
Nevertheless my side has been chosen
Further participation unecessary.

A side bet on a witty commentary
With only honour, and not much of that, at stake.
Further participation unecessary
The issue hardly needs to be re-raked.

With only honour, and not much of that, at stake
I honestly don't think it matters a lot.
The issue hardly needs to be re-raked;
Is the change of the meaning intentional or not?

This is number 315. There is context. It is in the comment thread of this post.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Fairy Tales

Someone on the local NaNoWriMo facebook page was sort of taken by surprise one of their characters (almost) came out. As might be expected said character was an elf. I repeat my response here for 314.

If I were an elf and might be gay
I'd be sure to tell you, but not today
Clarity is not in anything I might say
That's the trouble when you deal with the fey.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Day: Tautology Monarch

Tautology Queen
She will say everything twice
But in different words

This is number 313. It is also a haiku.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Heartbreak Hotel



I am left here and my heart is broken
I watch frozen as you walk out the door
I wish I’d never heard those words spoken
From now on you can’t hurt me anymore

I watch frozen, as you walk out the door
It will end soon, of that I have no doubt
From now on you can’t hurt me anymore
If only I knew what this is about

It will end soon of that I have no doubt
I really think that this is for the best
If only I knew what this is about
The blood runs, blade piercing my chest

“I really think that this is for the best.”
I wish I’d never heard those words spoken
The blood runs, blade piercing my chest
I am left here and my heart is broken


Number 312 is not a true story.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Forecasting the Weather Through the Medium of Weather Forecasters

The weather presenter is all in black
I’m pretty sure a storm will attack
The next day she wears a bright pink top
And now the wind and rain will stop
Weather prediction based on presenters’ clothes
Is in it’s early days but the accuracy grows

Number 311. This method of weather prediction is highly inaccurate (for now).

365 Poems in 365 Days: Ideas

I lost my list of poem ideas
It’s frustrating but also freeing
If I look I’m sure I’ll find it near
When I’ve finished my next thought thinking

As predicted, after I composed this in my head I found the sheet to write down this. Number 310.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Lunchbox

What’s in the lunchbox?
A geology kit for hounding rocks?
A forensic kit for finding clues?
Pens and ink, red black and blue?
Some games to play with friends we meet?
Or maybe just something to eat.

I can't help thinking that Lacey Lee, who is probably still hung up on the 90s, probably keeps her crime scene kit in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunchbox. Poem 309.

Sunday, November 03, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: So What Is The Monster's Last Name?

Number 308 was conceived as a Hallowe'en poem. I've written pantuns about mermaids, vampires, zombies, ghosts and werewolves, so it seemed time for another monster one. This got, perhaps, a little more intense than expected.

I don’t know why the monster has no name
Now it doesn’t seem such a good idea
In the end it really is quite a shame
I never thought we’d have something to fear

Now it doesn’t seem such a good idea
Out of nothing we have created life
I never thought we’d have something to fear
I failed to cut it off with the knife

Out of nothing we have created life
Inevitably this has lead to death
I failed to cut it off with the knife
From the moment it gasped out it’s first breath

Inevitably this has lead to death
In the end it really is quite a shame
From the moment it gasped out it’s first breath
I don’t know why the monster has no name

365 Poems in 365 Days: Near Miss

Number 307. I wrote this around Hallowe'en which is clearly why I've done two love poems in a row. And by love poems I mean, well:

She is the woman of someone else’s dreams
Walked out into my life it seems
For another person she is perfect
But for me simply suspect
I don’t know what it happening here
It’s not about me that’s pretty clear

365 Poems in 365 Days: End of Love

Number 306 has sat around for a while, but it's time to post it.

I will never say I love you
Until I have to
On the last day
At the last moment
Because until then
How will I know?

Friday, November 01, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Dinner Plans

No chilli
No mushrooms
Absolutely no nuts
Go easy on the cheese
Food requirements
For a dinner party
Make me hungry
Some garlic, herbs
And onions make
The forbidden list
A tasty dish

With the right cheese number 305 would be not just tasty but a vegetarian option too!

365 Poems in 365 Days: Because You're All About Style

The base to Jim’s shed was like a twelve foot stage
At the bottom of his garden, so we performed on it
But afterwards we built a shed so never again
Will anyone see our two man version of Avengers Assemble
In the style of “Shakepeare in the Park”
“Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
(His Black Widow brought tears to my eyes)

Number 304 is a. very silly; b. barely a poem; and c. only slightly exaggerated.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Forward Planning

My planning begins with lists
Of things I remembered and things I missed
Lists become diagrams and directions
All moving towards a conclusion

Number 303. 2 weeks out from a dinner party and I'm in full on planning mode already.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Shed Construction

Building a shed
When I could instead
Be lying in bed
Watching Velma Daphne and Fred
(Shaggy and Scooby have fled)

Number 302 I improvised while helping a friend build a shed. More on this to come.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Some Kind Of Murder

It is a murder mystery
Clues scattered everywhere you see
I hope our detectives are handy
And not at home watching Glee
Over a nice hot cup of tea

Number 301 introduces this Schneemann piece. This would be the start of a longer story if and when I get around to it.