Thursday, May 30, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: TV Detectives

So I wrote a poem about an unfinished poem about the TV show Elementary. And now I have finished that poem (the unfinished one) and here it is as number 72.

Even   though    I   watch   the    show   religouslY
L
et   me  tell  you   the   problems   I  have;   foR
E
xample, almost every  week there's a dead body and A
M
urderer to discover. Finding the villain to confronT
E
nds the case.  But Holmes and  Watson should work oN
N
ovel   crimes,   mysteries   and   adventures.   ThE
T
otal  emphasis  on  killers  reduces  the  show froM
A
    puzzle   to    a    simple    procedural.    ThE
R
eal  strength  of  the show  is  how  Holmes  is alL
Y
ou need  him to be, but  only human,  not invinciblE

365 Poems in 365 Days: Uncle or Drunkle?

For number 71, I wrote this about my nephew whose parents are trying to get the Dutch authorities to accept a double-barrelled surname.

Felix, young Felix, Felix D-W
You're too babyish to know what to do
So you just lie there gurgling goo
Don't deny it, you know it's true
Felix, oh Felix, Felix D-W

Felix, hey Felix, Felix W-D
This lying around has to stop, don't you see
Somehow you're even lazier than me
We should go out, run, maybe climb a tree
Felix, yes Felix, Felix W-D

365 Poems in 365 Days: Secrets

I will keep secrets
I will keep secrets I should have told you
There are things I will never tell you
And if you never hear them
There will be nothing to forgive
Nothing to hurt us
Nothing to say
And I will never have to learn your secrets


Number 70. Inspired by an episode of Hawaii 5-0. No, really.

365 Poems in 365 Days: You Know, For Kids

This, number 69, I wrote for my class when we did children's poetry.



Jonathan Clean

Let me show you Mister Jonathan Clean
The most villainous man that you've ever seen
He spits in the gutter and smokes on the bus
And when we're noisy, he makes a fuss
He wears a horrible hairy green suit
And leers at the women that he thinks are cute
He says that our language drives him to despair
In a sentence that's filled with really bad swears
He's nasty and stupid and ever so rude
Of all the passengers he has the worst attitude
He yelled at a puppy on the way to the vet
I won't sit by him, even on a bet
He has a nose like an elephant and a voice like a duck
And moans when we're late because of bad luck
He tried to get us thrown off only last week
Just 'cos we're playing hide and go seek
His stop is coming so watch a bit more 
It's possible his briefcase is glued to the floor

365 Poems in 365 Days: Deadly Eyes

I'm always anthropomorphising the Seven Deadly Sins, and it rarely works out. This is okay but not great. Number 68.

Envy has eyes that are green and bitter
Avarice's seem to shine and glitter
Wrath looks out hot enough to burn
Lust makes people stop and turn
Pride's are black and hard and able
Gluttony watches the food on the table
Sloth's orbs remain a mystery
Maybe they'll open one day, we'll see

365 Poems in 365 Days: Discarded Verse

Number 67 is left over from a radio play inspired by a photocopy of a penguin book cover for my writing class. It never got finished because a verse play wouldn't do what I wanted. eventually I'll put the play up here.

We all anticipated the garden party
Mel's cakes and sandwiches are tasty and hearty
The weatherman promised sunshine and showers too
We dressed in shorts and took umbrellas as you do
Clouds threatened as the time and guests drew near
But we were all full of joy and good cheer

365 Poems in 365 Days: Not A Supervillain Story

How many supervillain poems have I done? 4 out of 66? That's almost as many as I've done on vampires or babies. Well, this isn't one. Oh no.

I don't have a taste for the theatrical
No masks or costumes or baroque plots
Just break into banks and take it all
Leave town before the trail's too hot

Don't mess with the guys in spandex
The aliens, the mutants, the experimenters
With grappling guns and X-ray specs
Obsession with them just isn't clever

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Names Have Been Changed

Number 65. This is based loosely on something I made up for a youngster I met on Monday. I changed the name for much the same reason I rarely use full names for my friends on here.


Jessie, Jessie, Jessie Bailey
I think we need to talk, young lady
You're dribbling and drooling and getting mucky
As well as waving your spoon wildly
That's why we think that you're a baby
(Also you only turned one recently)

365 Poems in 365 Days: In Which I Complain About An Obsidian Entertainment Product From Nearly A Decade Ago

 Number 64. This is not great, but fortunately this is not a 365 good poems project. This might explain why I am behind on poem writing, but probably not really.

I played Knights of the Old Republic
2: The Sith Lords, a Star Wars Computer
Roleplaying Game from 2004
With a famously disappointing ending
And I was disappointed by the ending

It was rushed, clearly unfinished
Dangling threads were taken up then
Left dangling even more annoyingly
The villain was cool, but to allow
My choices to do anything it made their
Plan completely nonsensical and
My choices ended up being nothing

There is a fan made mod that uses
Unfinished resources hidden in the
Game files; they promise that it has
The ending it should always have had.

I am wary. And weary. Perhaps I will
Download and play again or perhaps not

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Cemetary Gates

Still pantunning. Number 63. Not a true story.

I see your face from across the graveyard
Your frozen beauty watched from a distance
Finding words you'll listen to will be hard
I doubt you would give me a second glance

Your frozen beauty watched from a distance
I know the vision will only tell lies
I doubt you would give me a second glance
But still I find you lovely to my eyes

I know the vision will only tell lies
I didn't think you'd wait for me here
But still I find you lovely to my eyes
Stone carved image dead a hundred years

I didn't think you'd wait for me here
Finding word's you'll listen to will be hard
Stone carved image dead a hundred years
I see your face from across the graveyard

365 Poems in 365 Days: True Stories

Loosely based on yesterday's party. Number 62.

Little girl all dressed in white
Monsters come out, but it's not night
And you are brave enough to fight

Sunday, May 26, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Ghost Story

Number 61 is this, as my class is doing ghost stories. Back to the pantun.

I have never believed at all in ghosts
It is unfortunate now that I'm dead
That I let my ignorance be the most
I never listened to what others said

It is unfortunate now that I'm dead
Thought and memory have all turned to dust
I never listened to what others said
All their words blown away with a gust

Thought and memory have all turned to dust
I don't know if I'm a coward or brave
All their words blown away with a gust
My greatest regret in this frozen grave

I don't know if I'm a coward or brave
That I let my ignorance be the most
My greatest regret in this frozen grave
I have never believed at all in ghosts

365 Poems in 365 Days: Expectations

If things work out as we expected
No matter how little respected
It will pass however closely inspected

Number 60 of 365 is this nonsense.

Friday, May 24, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: More Heroes

A line from this poem (of mine) kept going around my head. If I hadn't already pressed Publish on that piece, this might be a second verse, but since I have, it's a new poem, riffing off some of the same ideas.  Go number 59.

All my heroes are dead
So now I'm free to ignore
Everything they may have said
Write my own life forever more.

365 Poems in 365 Days: The Game Is Afoot

Number 58 references and unfinished poem I have about the TV show Elementary. May have gone a tad self-referential there.

I wrote most of a poem reviewing Elementary
But the penultimate episode renders it unnecessary
It turns out it's not police procedural subtype quirky
Instead pure pulp, updated for the 21st Century

Sunday, May 12, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Fictional Stans

Number 57 is not about my friend Stan

This is Mr Stanton Stan
I have to admit he's a very strange man
He has a great fear of people with spoons
Which comes on him every full moon
The reason is, and there's no hint of a lie
He believes he'll turn into a delicious were-pie

365 Poems in 365 Days: Curses

Because I'm trying to write a lot of poems, rejecting an idea is not an option* for me. Because of this number 56 links Alfred Lord Tennyson and menstruation. Oh yes.

A fellow student went to a girl's school
Where they quoted from Tennyson's The Lady of Shalott
'The curse is come upon me' when their menstrual
Periods began and this happened quite a lot


* Rejecting a poem is, but you have to try first. Also sometimes reworking, or recycling bits of rejects does work.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Everyone On TV Was A Pervert

Number 55 responds to another 70s TV star I watched being arrested for sexual assault.

All my heroes are dead
And were never heroes anyway
(Some were the worst of villains it's said
So they're dead to me is what I say)