Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Secret Diary of Major Squick 5a

For the latest extract from the Diary of Major Squick I have deciphered a number of entries which form one continuous narrative. I'll be posting them as I get the time between now and Christmas.

3 J__ 18__

In a fit of high spirits at New Year, I suggested that the Afghan Hounds be raced against each other, with the houseboys as jockeys. It seems that the Colonel's wife was unhappy to discover that her prize Afghan Hound dogs had been used in such a way, especially as they had been scheduled to be put to the Governor's Daughter's bitches the next day, but were too weary to perform. Until his wife has calmed down, I have been ordered to take a patrol into the hills to look for bandits who have been plaguing the province.

The Colonel has not yet inspected his wine cellar, and the water in the fountains were barely pink at all by the time he saw them. The missing paintings I have replaced from my own collection until I can find decent replacements - fortunately the Colonel never looks at them.

As we can see, Major Squick has been propelled into action as the result of his own foolishness and debauchery. We can only hope that he manages to achieve something useful and constructive, although I can't help suspecting that he will spend the time in a hilltop tea plantation committing more outrages.

(Major Squick begins here; link to all of Major Squick here. )
Post a Comment