Monday, May 22, 2017

Thanet Love

This is an entry into the Thanet Creative Writers Writers Writing Competition responding to The Thing I Love Most About Thanet Creative Writers. I have, of course, approached it obliquely in the actual piece so I'll say I like that it gets me feedback, I'm not just throwing words out on the internet for them to vanish without a trace.

What do you love most about Thanet Creative Writers?

Well this is awkward. Obviously it’s possible to feel love for an organisation, a group, a gathering of people formal or informal. Even fictional things can be loved. Sometimes I think that everyone I’ve ever loved were fictional!

That came out wrong.

I mean we’ve been hanging out for a few months now so perhaps I should have expected this. It’s just, you know, it feels like we’ve skipped a step or two.

It’s like this: I know you value words and don’t use them lightly. So when you say ‘What do you love about Thanet Creative Writers?’ you’re not using the word to mean something like ‘I would really love some ice cream’. There’s more emotion there. Not that there isn’t emotion about ice cream, but it’s an ephemeral thing, more of a crush than a...

Still, we’re not talking about settling down forever are we. It’s just, you know, a thing. You knew from the start I write elsewhere.

I knew you’d understand. That’s what I... that’s one of the great things about you. 

Friday, May 19, 2017

Writing Advice

Classic Writing Advice: Show, Don’t Tell

Alternate Writing Advice:

Tell us everything we need to know. Pour that information out on us. Cut out the unneeded drama and description and have a character blurt out a hundred years of family history. Boil your story down to the one key scene and explain to us how we got here and why we should care. Make sure we understand what is going on, then hit us with your best shot.

Classic Writing Advice: Write What You Know

Alternate Writing Advice:
 
Write what you don’t know. Write things you’ve barely glimpsed, half-imagined. Write of places you haven’t been, that don’t exist, that are impossible. Write about people who surprise you, events you can’t predict, emotions you’ve never felt. Make up stories you never thought of. Tell tales only you can tell, and only today because you didn’t know them until now. Use words you had to look up, figures of speech you hadn’t heard before, slang so fresh and raw you don’t know how rude it is.

Dive deep into a pool of ignorance and pluck pearls from the bottom. Create situations that are unfamiliar and then break them so they are unrecognisable. Turn off into an unfamiliar genre, then ignore the conventions and write it into uncharted territories. Write what you know, then delete it and write something else, new and dark and unexpected.

Classic Writing Advice: Write From The Heart

Alternate Writing Advice:

Fingers, feet, voice, or, at a pinch, some sort of eye movement detecting system are probably better choices.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Some Things That Are Not Wrong And Some Things That Clearly Are In The Video To Tragedy By Steps

Some Things That Are Not Wrong With The Steps Video of Tragedy

The Steps girls are easily convinced to not go through with their weddings
- Get married or go on wacky girl-boy-band adventures? I know which I'd choose.

They all go to the reception
- Why not? It's already paid for.

The dance H and Lisa do for about one second at 4:12

- This is the best dance.

Some Things That Are Clearly Wrong With The Steps Video Tragedy

All three Steps girls get married on the same day but in different venues
- This is extremely inefficent and prevents any of them attending each others weddings. Now perhaps they AREN'T that close or have fallen out. But in that case why leave their husbands at the altar and go off for more pop band hijinks? None of this makes sense.

H and Lee are driving in a two-seater vintage convertible
- They successfully convince the girls to abandon their wedding, but they don't have a vehicle ready to make a retreat. This is bad planning. Admittedly on the evidence of their videos the Steps boys are not good at planning AT ALL but still.

Lisa's fiance is blond, but his place is taken by Lee who is dark haired
- There's a lot to take think about when you're walking up the aisle, or so I'm told, and that's even if you aren't singing at the time. Does Lisa know who it is and fake surprise? (have a look from 1:40-ish) Either way poor planning by the Steps boys. AGAIN.

The three jilted grooms end up together in Lisa's church and fail to untie Lisa's former finace
- How did they get there? Why haven't they turned the lights on? And why is he still tied up? Are they all too polite to mention it?

H goes up the aisle on a scooter
- Unnecessary.