Friday, June 20, 2008

Amber Alert!

Yesterday I got a fiver in my change with the words "Amber Alert" written on it.

Now I thought I was prepared for any emergency; I had my overnight kit, 8 cans of cider, a punnet of cherries, some reconstituted potato snacks, and a sequel to the The Three Muskateers with me. But I wasn't ready for an Amber Alert being sent to me on negotiable currency.

Fortunately this is the internet, so there are websites that will help you with this kind of problem. Here's an exerpt from Fafblog's In Case of Emergency post:

1. Is there an emergency?
   a. Yes!
      - Quick! Break glass in case of emergency.
         - Oh no, now I'm all cut and bleeding on this broken glass!
            - Sounds like an emergency! Quick, break more glass.
      - Okay, I broke the glass! Now what?
         - Oh no, what'd you do that for! You needed that glass for the emergency!
            - Oh, what do I do now!
               - Quick, glue your glass back together while there's still time! Then break it. Hurry, it's an emergency!

Full post (and it gets better) here.

As for the fiver, I gave that to Jim. Amber Alert Jim!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Message from Turkey

The postcard from Jim has finally arrived, 9 days after his return (13 days after the date on it). Strangely it's actually in good taste, assuming of course that gimmicky video postcards are tasteful. Take a look:

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Steampunk in LA

Steampunk is an SF sub-genre. Think H G Wells or Jules Verne - Victorian technology extrapolated to the limit. Entries since the term was coined (as a reference to cyberpunk) include William Gibson and Bruce Sterling's The Difference Engine (novel), Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the comic book as this blog refuses to acknowledge the film), Howl's Moving Castle (anime) and Van Helsing (film). Now, the term seems to have reached the mainstream, or at least the restaurant column of the LA Times (via The Independent) in this description of Gordon Ramsey's new West Hollywood restaurant:
The interior, fitted out with brass and mirrors, is kind of a steam-punk take on a ’70s disco lounge, and the menu, at least at opening, is a riff on the small-plates style of restaurant, a long succession of courses molded into perfect circles or neat rectangles, big enough to share and priced relatively gently for this level of dining room at $14-$22.

So. For Steampunk it's today Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, tomorrow the world!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Earth's Defence System

For several years, a giant forked stick, a pair of elastic braces and Stan has been all that has stood between Earth and an alien invasion. However I can now reveal that there are more slingonauts in training as this video shows:


I note in addition that google currently has no hits for the word slingonaut, so I'm claiming that one as a brand new word.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Not The Audience I Was Expecting

I thought I'd stopped blogging abou funny search terms that arrived here at Night of the Hats. I thought that in future they'd just be variations on the themes I've already encountered.

I was wrong.

This morning someone searching via google.nl turned up here from this search:

strong woman squeezes his balls to a gooey mess stories

(If you plug it into google.nl, as I was unable to resist doing you'll find that there only seems to be one; the rest seem to be items using those terms, some of which are closing in on the ickness of the original. I didn't actually follow any of the links.)

Time to flush my brain with something soothing and cleansing, something that can't be turned into something weird and sexual. Something like space science. Let's see what Warren Ellis has to say about the robot exploration of Mars:

It’s hard to get excited about robots. Unless, like a singer acquaintance of mine, you have what’s termed a “clunk” fetish. Once a year or so, she asks me if I’ll write a comic about robots fucking. I imagine she’s waiting with ragged breath for the Phoenix Lander to stab its metal cock into the Martian regolith to see if the planet is wet for it. Sometime today, I think, the robot explorer will slide a probe into the rusty crust in the search for ice and biochemical presence. We already have the photo that may show exposed Martian ice for the first time — unless it’s a photographic artifact, a trick of light and lens and no more real than the Face On Mars.

Oh right. My mistake.