Sunday, April 28, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Sniper

I think I'm back in supervillain territory for number 54, although not an origin story this time. This is the kind of supervillain that turns up and everyone is like, oh yeah, him he stole the fabled diamond of despair, let loose a pack of wild hyenas on Rotterdam and blew up The Statue of Fraternity despite never having appeared on the page before.

They call me The Sniper
Or Death From Afar
Or Action-at-a-distance
(I don't expect you to get that one)

In Scotland I'm the Highland Hitman
After one of my more spectacular jobs.
I think all the good names are gone
And it doesn't matter anyway.

What matters is this:
That I kill from a long way away.
When they hear I'm in town
Certain types of people take precautions.

Because you know that I shoot
From half a mile or more
As easily as across the room
You set guards on rooftops and balconies

Never realising that the distant patrols
Are of no use if I'm
Right
Beside
You.

Friday, April 26, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: For All Occasions

Number 53 is the poem I actually wrote on the card I sent congratulating my brother, partner and nephew on my nephew's arrival. It's okay, the first verse better I think. I don't do congratulation poems well. Maybe it's because poetry tends to let my inner seventeen year old out, so that they're either jokes or when sincere are gloomy because the world is a dark place, man.

Congratulations James, Britt and Felix
Welcome to the world my little nephew
If you want to reply just wave and kick
Or maybe let your parents speak for you.

I'm sure it won't take long to learn new tricks
And then the fun of growing up ensues
Learning, laughing, day by day, brick by brick
We'll all be surprised by how fast you grow.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Single Dutch

Number 52. Rejected poem congratulating my brother and partner on the birth of my nephew.

Do Dutch boys get dressed in blue?
The least important question to pick
Over excited by arrival of nephew
My brain and tongue both need to be fixed.

The arrival of a stranger who
Probably just lies and kicks
It's a great celebration due
To our shared DNA helix

Over night I let this poem stew
Hoping for words that will stick
I'll put it aside, try take two -
Phrases mirror emotions; that's the trick

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Apologies to Dr Seuss

Number 51. Damn I'm behind. This got scribbled during class this week.

Green Eggs and Ham
Come from a green can
Laid by a green hen
And a pig in a green pen.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Patience

Number 50 is a true if profoundly uninteresting story.

I'm waiting.
It's boring.
I was sleeping
And snoring.
Now I'm waiting
And Yawning.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: Just Name Your Baby

 Number 49 I wrote to congratulate some friends on the arrival of their newborn. This continues my obsession with the pantun. The official version, which I printed out in card form and sent in the post has a mistake in it, so it's rarity value will no doubt only improve it.

I have still not been informed of the child's name. I can only hope that some form of it has five syllables and rhymes with something we might do in eighteen years. UPDATE: He does.

Welcome to the world [Insert Name Here]
You're too young to understand my verse
In eighteen years [We'll drink some beer]
Your Mum and Dad will likely yell and curse

You're just too young to understand my verse
If you knew I'm sure you would scream and cry
Your Mum and Dad will likely yell and curse
If they thought I'd brought tears to your eyes

If you knew I'm sure you would scream and cry
For what life holds for every person born
If they thought I'd brought tears to your eyes
This poem should have been ripped up and torn

For what life holds for every person born
In eighteen years [we'll drink some beer]
This poem should have been ripped up and torn
Welcome to the world [Insert Name Here]

365 Poems in 365 Days: Thatcher

Thatcher was Prime Minister until I was fourteen
I didn't remember another, couldn't tell what it means
Maybe I still don't, it remains to be seen

Number 48, this time on Margaret Thatcher's death. She was Prime Minister when I was growing up, and agree or disagree she was always there, until one day she wasn't. And now, again, like an echo.

365 Poems in 365 Days: Nothing

Number 47 of 365.

Somebody is marrying
Someone had a child
Someone else is moving
None of them are me

My calendar nicely clear
Nothing to clutter up the days
Another quiet, calming year?
We'll just have to wait and see.

Monday, April 08, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: The Mystery of Edwin Drood

As well as being behind on the 365 poems thing, I'm also behind in writing up my almost complete read of Dickens. The actual reread has now reached it's last work, Dickens final novel The Mystery of Edwin Drood. As such, here's my faux-naive thoughts on the first chapter, as poem number 46.

Edwin Drood opens in an opium den
Within sight of an English cathedral
The shock! The horror!
It's a pretty cool opening
I hope Dickens makes the ending as good.

365 Poems in 365 Days: The Past Sucks

For number 45, a true, if rubbish story.

I found an old diary
I was tempted to destroy it
So earnest, so stupid, so badly
Written; so honest in bits

365 Poems in 365 Days: Yesterday Was Summer

Number 44 describes yesterday:

The temperature outside has reached thirteen
There's some actual sunlight to be seen
Whatever can all this mean?

Thursday, April 04, 2013

365 Poems in 365 Days: 365 Poems Update Haiku

For number 43, I give you this update:

I need 94
I have only 43
I suck at all this