Monday, August 21, 2006

The Trial (Part 1)

Stan: Jim, I put it to you that you allowed your marriage to end.

Jim: No, no. It was only for a year and a day, and it naturally lapsed at the end of that time.

Stan: And you did nothing? You didn't attempt to secure an extension? To seek out the marrying authority and inspect the regulations? You made no effort to adjust the calendar of those who married you? You didn't try to change the natural order of the universe to extend the period?

Jim: Well, no, but, that all seems a lot of work...

Stan: A lot of work? For your one true bride?

Jim: Well, it wasn't really like that...

Stan: Perhaps you'd care to tell the court the circumstances of your wedding.

Jim: Well, it was like this...er...

Stan: Yes?

Jim: We were at Glastonbury, and were quite drunk, and were going past the wedding place, and, you know...

Stan: Were swept away in the passion of the moment? Married on the wings of an unstoppable destiny? Fell in love at the stroke of midnight?

Jim: Well, anyway, we got married. But it was only for a year and a day.

Stan: A year and a day. So, Jim, who married you? What authority is it that marries people for a year and a day. I'm not familiar with marriages being of that specific period.

Jim: Well, it was dark, and we were drunk, I'm not really sure...

Stan: Not sure? Do you have no idea who married you?

Jim: [inaudible]

Stan: Please repeat so the court can hear.

Jim: We were married by the Fairies.

Queen Mab: Just to clarify - are you referring to the sidhe?

Jim: I beg your pardon?

Queen Mab: As well you should. Are you talking of the fair folk, the gentry, the people of the hills, the fey?

Jim: Yes, yes I was. That was the sort of fairy I think we were married by. Although they might have been the other sort as well...

Queen Mab: Jim's confusion may well be caused by the glamour which he will have experienced during the ceremony.

Jim: Glamour, yes, I bet that's it. No, wait, it was a muddy field in the middle of the night, that wasn't glamourous at all.

Stan: Perhaps there is no need for a supernatural explanation. But to continue: You made no effort to seek out the fey, to investigate this matter?

Jim: Well, no. Everyone knows that if you seek out the fey, you come to a bad end.

Stan: But you and your wife have already been married, probably by magic. Having once been touched by faerie magic, you have to see the consequences through for good or ill. Schools teach Practical Folklore and Applied Mythology for these very situations! What were you doing during those lessons?

Jim: [inaudible]

To be continued...

[Based loosely on a conversation in Jim's garden about a month ago]

No comments: