I'm so embarrassed - did I really sleep with Antonio Banderas last night?! how did you let this happen?!
Officially I have no position on who you sleep with (or indeed who you don't sleep with).
Unofficially, I spoke to Tony afterwards. He too was feeling confusion and embarrassment until I was able to help him open his mind.
With a hatchet.
Oh God the blood.
Jim has the last word:
That explains the blood stains everywhere
I don't know if it spoils the story or makes it better if I tell you that it wasn't the real Antonio Banderas, but Jim's double-sided laminated portrait of him.
I stole the "Oh God the blood" from What Were They Thinking, a very silly remix comic. Clearly this undermines my reputation for wit, but relieves my guilt for stealing a joke from Kevin Church. Well there's a weight off my mind.
Update: Hello Kevin Church Twitter followers! Er... not sure I have anything else to say to you. Maybe I can steal a joke from somewhere. "I will not love you long time?"