Stan and the Fag Machine

(Recycled from a Facebook Photo Comment - I'd labelled this photo "Stan and the Fag machine" and Jim had commented "As an idea for a sitcom 'Stan and the fag machine' was never destined to take off..", to which I replied with a bit of the pilot)

Fag Machine: Hi Stan! Want a fag?

Stan: No thanks. I don't smoke.

Fag Machine: Okay.

[Jim enters, dressed as a slice of pie. Mad props from the audience]

Fag Machine: Jim! You're dressed as a pie.

Jim: I know. My boss thinks this will improve sales.

Stan: Aren't you self employed?

Jim: Yes.

[Audience lets out howls of laughter]

Jim: My Boss is a ****.

[Audience can't believe what it's hearing, gasps, then cheers madly]

Fag Machine: Jim, do you want a fag?

Jim: No thanks. I don't smoke.

...