Tuesday, March 22, 2011

SGR: Did You Know That Lollygagging Promotes Communism and Causes Sterility?

(I'm writing about the webcomic Scary Go Round. My introduction is here.)

Chapter 10: Shopgirl

Click on the chapter title above to read this chapter; when you get to a page where Fallon is fighting ninjas you have reached the next chapter which is beyond the scope of this post.


So Amy is cut off by her Dad and gets a Christmas job as a shopgirl. But it seems that when the managers go to the pub on Christmas Eve something happens that leaves the shop floor covered in blood...

It's a short story and a lighthearted one. The store starts as satire, but quickly goes full on weird. Shelley tries to be cautious and sensible but then goes off the deep end. With magnets! The girls bicker and are rude to each other, but in the end they make it up.

Another Scary word. Skellington, demond and dinosaurus are now part of the lexicon.

There's no actual bodies, and no numbers are given, so the bodycount is zero. I note the swift action of the fire brigade. perhaps they are more efficent than the police.

The next chapter is the long promised but often delayed Robot Town Hall. Excellent.

Best Lines/ Alternative Titles

I asked him if it was the ninja car of Jesus.

Would you like to buy this 1951 copy of Racist Christmas by Sid Sulley's Swinging Six? It was banned for being too uptempo!

Two miles away a man is feeding sawdust to his child.

Did you know that lollygagging promotes communism and causes sterility?

Bees make honey... but wasps don't make jam. And I mean it's not like they couldn't... They have access to fruit.

Were you bitten by a dinosaurus?

The dinosaurus is cunning. He hides in the swamp wearing a hat shaped like a baby bird.

Hugo, can I have the lonely Christmas combo meal with extra gin?

Mrs Ivan is still as spry and appealing as she was in 1959.

I don't act the fool Miss Amy. Threw a paper aeroplane in 1952, next day, the King was dead.

They may be fatuous bumpkins but they're fatuous bumpkins at Christmas.

It does not respond to magnets!

On the ruining Christmas scale we've reached 5, equivalent to punching a shepherd in the stomach.

Ruined Christmas Level Ten: Shot the little donkey and cooked it.

They are not strong magnets. They are only for Christmas fun. I am sorry that they are only designed for fun.

Christmas would have been a lot worse if I had found out you had been eaten because I wasn't there.

Every time I saw a partially gnawed skeleton I would weep.


Amy, spoiled brat earning money in a shop
Shelley, her friend and reluctant co-investigator of mysteries
Len, Amy's father, teaching her self reliance by cutting off her money supply.
One of Mrs Birch's cronies, now working in the record shop in Ryan's place
Ivan, Caretaker
Mrs Ivan, still as spry and appealing as she was in 1959
Old Man Wallis, Department store owner
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