Fairly obviously, this was someone elses nightmare. I wasn't supposed to have this. The only likely candidate for causing this kind of chaos is some Cidre Fermier from the enchanted forest of Broceliande in Brittany, which, if we believe the label, was made by a wizard in a giant teacup. That's the cider in the giant teacup, not the wizard. Probably easier just to show you the label.
 Since Mr Peel was captured by the Japanese during the war, he has almost certainly stopped teaching by now.
 Farm Cider, or Scrumpy.
 No, really.