Not My Circus

12 months ago subscribers to my Patreon got this piece of hard-hitting political reporting. Now the time has come to release it even to people who do not pay me money.

Not My Circus

“If you’re going to vote for a clown, make it one who knows what he’s doing.” Yes, we all thought it was a protest vote. A joke candidate. Part of the rich political circus.

That’s how Bubbles The Clown became mayor.

There were a lot of changes. The passenger requirement for driving into the congestion zone was initially a problem. Finding eight people to join you was hard enough before you then all had to cram into a Vauxhall Corsa. We learned to cope with it, started talking to our neighbours. Co-ordinating trips, and then events. Our children played together and the roads were much clearer.

The old grimy buildings slowly got whitewashed, sporadically. Great splashes here and there, appearing overnight. The graffiti artists rose to the challenge, waves of colour on the canvas, sometimes lasting for months, sometimes being whited out again the next day.

And some of those grimy old buildings opened up again. The old shoe factory, which had turned out a lorryload every other week expanded, long hours giving the workers overtime. The paper mill added another location creating confetti. A flag makers opened up, making every flag for every country we knew of and some we didn’t. Bakeries worked three shifts, all the school leavers who we thought would have to leave to find work became pastry rollers, custard makers, cherry decorators.

It was a great tragedy when Bubbles The Clown died in office. Combining the civic reception for the dog training school with the celebration of the opening of the sausage planet might be thought to be asking for trouble. Especially when the window washing guild were displaying their new ladders in city hall.

Sceptics suggest that Bubbles just added a light-hearted sheen to city life. Yet if we feel better, merrier, perhaps we become better people too. And if in truth the joke was on us, then at least someone enjoyed themselves.

I’ve been looking at the candidates for the special election to replace Bubbles. One caught my eye, promising to bring balance to the mayor’s office, able to juggle the responsibilities. Flying Voltor The Magnificent.

Might be worth considering. If it’s going to be a show, might as well make it a spectacle.