From today I am proud to announce that my friend Stan is available as your personal shopper! Here's the full blurb:
No time to shop? Can't decide what to buy? Keep hearing an annoying song in your head when you pass particular products? Not to worry - now Stan can solve all your problems!
Stan is THE personal shopper for the 21st Century. He is so dedicated to shopping he doesn't even charge for this service! Shopping is Stan's life and nothing will get between him and a bargain.
You don't even need to give Stan a list for supermarket shopping, as Stan's advanced prediction techniques allow him to decide what you're likely to need. This technique takes recycling one step further by using lists discarded by previous shoppers to guide Stan's shopping experience.
Don't delay! Stan only has 24 hours in a day to shop for you. Contact him
now at firstname.lastname@example.org
Stan's shopping: Professional, Courteous and Efficient!
Update: Due to the popularity of this service I'm sorry to report that our client list is now closed. In future, personal shopping will have to be done in person.
 With Stan