Sunday, May 25, 2008

Sometimes It's Just Too Easy

I was looking for a friend's Good Food Magazine down the back of a sofa and had found it. "Hooray!" said my friend, "pass it over!"

"Sorry," says I, "It's not your Good Food Magazine, it's pornography under a food cover." I flipped it open, planning to use my powers of improvisation to make whatever's there sound rude.

Quiche, tartlets and... a strawberry tart. What can you do with material like that? That's already a double entendre.

But this isn't just a rambling personal anecdote, it's an introduction to The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator which, as you might expect creates random euphemisms. Let's see:

Halfway through the project, Frank looked like he had been

wrangling the buttery yak.

Well, I'm amused. Like all random text generators on the internet you can use this as an oracle. Here we go:

Q: Oh great and powerful Always Amusing Euphemism Generator, answer this question that lies closest to my heart and that the fate of thousands rests on - the girl that I really really like, yeah? Does she, you know, like me at all?

I couldn't believe my best friend was actually

savoring the sheets.

He is? The bastard!