I'm sure we're all familiar with the idea of bibliomancy, using randomly selected passages from a book to answer questions. I've now discovered the internet has made that easier with Random Bible. Let's see how it works.
Q: Oh Magic Scriptural 8-ball - that girl I like, how does she feel about me?
A: "And twelve lions stood there on the one side and on the other upon the six steps: there was not the like made in any kingdom." - 2 Chronicles 9:19
Q: Um, right. How about her cute friend?
A: "And there shall be eight boards, and their sockets of silver, sixteen sockets; two sockets under one board, and two sockets under another board." - Exodus 26:25
That's about what I thought (although I think I still have a chance with the friend).
The only way to top this is if there were a Sun Tzu randomiser for generals who lacked inspiration. What's that?
Q: So, Sun Tzu, we've invaded Ruritania but have got ourselves cut off from our supplies and are surrounded by enemy troops. So what I want to know is - that girl I like - what does she think of me?
A: The onset of troops is like the rush of a torrent which will even roll stones along in its course.—Sun Tzu's Art of War, ss. 5.12: Energy (suntzusaid.com)
That is full of win, but frankly all of Sun Tzu is. Don't believe me? Get your own random Sun Tzu quote here!