Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Keep My Despair In An Old Bottle

I put my despair in an empty champagne bottle and corked it. Then I locked it in a box and locked that box in six other boxes, like a Matryoshka doll.

I gave the keys to seven sisters, each more beautiful than the next. They each promised to give the key only to whoever answered their riddles. Their riddles, their inheritance from their grandfather, are the most fiendishly difficult, as well as pointless and aggravating, puzzles ever brought back to the waking world.

The boxes I gave to their brother, who hid them in a cave on a mountain which can only be found by one guide. Sadly this guide was stolen from his home when only three nights old and has not been seen since[1].

I realise, of course, that these precautions are worse than none at all, as any hero worth his salt will find this quest not only irresistible, but will find his eventual victory inevitable. Because of this, next to the bottle I have left a note. Before drinking from the bottle of my despair this hero can read my final warning:
You're welcome to it

[1] I apologise for this not making any sense, but I have cribbed this bit from a classic source.
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