Conversation of the Day

The Scene: The ICT plaza, with the entrance to the drama studio to one side.
Present: Several Year 11s revising online, and also gossiping; Several Year 8 and 9s waiting for a rehearsal for the school production of Grease; also your narrator, Me, trying to decipher some enigmatic emails.
Parental Warning: Contains swearing!

Pupil H: ...so stick it right up your arse. [Gestures offensively]
Me, tiredly: [Pupil H]...
Pupil E, energetically: [Pupil H]! That's offensive! Sir is quite shocked!
Pupil H, mock contritedly: Sorry sir.
Me: Well, not exactly shocked - that's probably the 25th most offensive thing I've heard today.
Pupil E: I'd kind of hoped it would be at least up to number 15.
Me: Not after the lesson with year 9 last period.
Pupil A: I was in that lesson!
Me: I only heard you swear once [Pupil A]
Pupil A, quietly: Was it "shit"?
Me, tiredly: [Pupil A]...
Pupil E, energetically: [Pupil A]! That's offensive! Sir is quite shocked!

And so on. Rather sadly there are 3 runner ups for conversation of the day that I am too tired to type up.