365 Poems in 365 Days: You Know, For Kids

This, number 69, I wrote for my class when we did children's poetry.

Jonathan Clean

Let me show you Mister Jonathan Clean

The most villainous man that you've ever seen

He spits in the gutter and smokes on the bus

And when we're noisy, he makes a fuss

He wears a horrible hairy green suit

And leers at the women that he thinks are cute

He says that our language drives him to despair

In a sentence that's filled with really bad swears

He's nasty and stupid and ever so rude

Of all the passengers he has the worst attitude

He yelled at a puppy on the way to the vet

I won't sit by him, even on a bet

He has a nose like an elephant and a voice like a duck

And moans when we're late because of bad luck

He tried to get us thrown off only last week

Just 'cos we're playing hide and go seek

His stop is coming so watch a bit more 

It's possible his briefcase is glued to the floor