12 Months Patron Reward: Best Bitter

Back in January 2021 subscribers to my Patreon received this. At the time I was working on the ideas that would become the Strandbridge Tales, of which this is now retroactively one. And so I now release it to the wild, with no apology.

This post is supported by my Patreon and does not endorse any particular brand of whisky.

 

Best Bitter

Well now sir, that is a good question. Now me personally, I’ve got to say that on the August Bank Holiday back in 2000 I was sitting in the garden of the Frog and Lettuce, and my mate Alok brought me a lovely one. Nutty-brown, just the hint of a head. You took the first mouthful and it was full of hops, enough so you had to take another to clear it out. Now maybe it was the hot day, and the sun and all my friends but I can’t say I’ve had a better.

Now the records show that back in 1832, Lord Cholmonder had all the brewers in the parish bring their barrels to his house where he and several scholars of beer tried them over a long evening. They gave the victory to Mrs Swithenbank, goodwife of the Hung, Drawn and Quartered Inn, declaring her ale the finest in all the four kingdoms. Sadly she drowned in her own malting vat the next year, taking the secrets to the grave.

Oh I’m sorry. You were asking about the Sweynsson’s Best Bitter we have on tap, not the absolute best bitter! What a silly mistake. No no, completely my fault. A professional failing in a publican, too interested in the making and history of the beer to actually serve what’s in front of you. There you go. Is there anything else?

Ah now there hangs a tale! I was just a lad mind, looking after the dogs on his Lordship’s estate, back in 84 I think. Well there they are, blasting away at anything that moves, When one of the birds comes straight down and hits his Lordship on the head, knocking him out! I tell the story every August, the Glorious Twelfth you know, so it’s well known even if I wouldn’t say it’s precisely a Famous Grouse...