Cafe Jardin Mort

 

In June 2020 I produced this for my Patrons. It's part of a set of pieces I wrote when it became clear that optimistic ideas of the pandemic being over quickly were not going to be fulfilled. They're characterised by two aspects, firstly discipline; there was a plotting day, a writing day or days for longer work, and a re-write day and I stuck to it. The second was to channel whatever I was bottling up inside through the work. In this case, my annoyance and frustration rather obliquely became this chef's ridiculous feud with plants. Anyway it's been a year so I release it to the world. If you'd like to see me working through my own emotions in a timely manner the subscribe at the link.

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Cafe Jardin Mort

Cafe Jardin Mort is a unique dining experience in that every item on our menu draws its inspiration from our chef and his hatred of plants.

I should make clear at this point that when I say he hates plants, he does not mean that he hates to eat them, or indeed to cook with them. He loves to do that. In his own words “When I cut, smash, liquidise, bake, roast, grill or boil a plant it is like the cold blade of vengeance strokes my spine. When I consume their essence it is like the sun comes out and crowns me with glory.”

His experimentation, which has destroyed vast quantities of vegetable matter, has had the pleasant side effect of discovering many exciting combinations, making even the most uninspiring of plants delicious. His chilli crisp Kale is well known, and the smoked herb polenta has won awards. In addition, thanks to his desire to use up the maximum amount of vegetation, portions are generous and the wood fire lends a smoky ambience to the cafe.

Although there are vegetarian and vegan dishes on the menu – the chef does not wish to turn away any potential collaborators on his vendetta with the vegetable kingdom – he is ambivalent to the consumption of animal produce and uses such items in his creations as he sees fit.