Films Catch Up 14

More films I watched in 2023. And I'm not done yet.

1. The London That Nobody Knows

Famed actor James Mason walks around London in 1967 in a flat cap, seeing bits of it that are a little off the beaten track; because of the last fifty years of development a lot of it no longer exists. This includes a wrecked old theatre that had all the old music hall stars; houses in Whitechapel where victims of Jack The Ripper lived; old wrought iron gas street lamps.

He interviews some men living in a Salvation Army hostel. He looks at old train tracks. They go to a street market. At one point he visits an egg-breaking plant and the film takes an ill-judged comic turn as they have egg breaking pranks rather than explain what it actually is. It’s by the Thames so ships full of eggs would tie up, and then they would break and freeze the eggs for catering companies.

Slightly odd, though also rewarding. It’s just a famous actor walking around London pointing out old and slightly unusual features, though maybe not the most unusual as they’re better known.

Watch This: For some strange corners of London that existed in the 60s
Don’t Watch This: It’s just weird bits of London, you can go and find some of your own

2. Premature Burial (1962)

Guy Carrel is terrified of being buried alive; like his father he suffers from catalepsy, and might fall into a coma where people think he’s dead. He’s so afraid that he won’t marry Emily, taking her into the tomb where he claims he heard his father scream after death; though his sister Katie says no one else heard anything. Emily convinces him to get married.

When she plays Molly Malone on the piano at the wedding reception he becomes distressed and collapses. Afterwards he builds a great tomb for himself, one with lots of safeguards and comforts if he wakes up after being buried. Everyone is worried, Emily, Katie and his friend Miles.

While out walking with Emily he hears a gravedigger whistling Molly Malone and collapses again, having a vision of being buried in his tomb, but all the safeguards fail. Waking up Emily insists either the tomb goes or she does so he destroys it.

But he’s still obsessed and when they finally open the tomb to prove his father wasn’t buried alive, he inevitably falls into a cataleptic state and is declared dead. Thanks to some shenanigans with graverobbers and so forth the film doesn’t end on him being horrifically entombed, instead there’s some murders and secrets revealed.

Another Roger Corman film loosely based on Edgar Allen Poe works (mostly The Premature Burial). It’s Victorian, gothic and the use of fog in the outdoor graveyard and moors scenes work pretty well. Guy’s genuine enthusiasm for his well-outfitted tomb is a highlight.

Watch This: A gloomy, oppressive horror film
Don’t Watch This: The explanation at the end is a bit limp and depressing

3. Game Of Death

Billy Lo (Bruce Lee) is a martial arts film star in Hong Kong, his girlfriend a singer. The Syndicate, a criminal gang, want to take over management for them, and threaten Lo. He stands up to them, beating up a bunch of thugs so they sneak a guy on set as a stuntman and have him replace a blank with a real bullet and shoot him*.

He fakes his death, and because he’s been shot in the face** his appearance changes. Using disguises he gets revenge one at a time, or sometimes lots at a time in various martial arts stunts. The boss suspects that Lo is still alive, opens his grave to discover a mask. They kidnap his girlfriend from the hospital she’s in after having a breakdown from Lo’s death. He rescues her, then goes after them in the Red Pepper restaurant, which turns out to be a several levelled building each with a martial arts challenge within.

Bruce Lee was making this film when everything came together for Enter The Dragon, a film with a much higher budget from a Hollywood studio, so this was put on hold while he went to work on that. Unfortunately Lee died before he could return and complete this film. The footage that was shot was combined with stand ins and stunt men (hence the “shot in the face” part and a variety of ludicrous disguises that Billy Lo wears in the film’s middle section). This was already in dubious taste (one actor, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, refused to return for new scenes; Chuck Norris is billed though they re-use footage shot for The Way Of The Dragon) before they include scenes filmed from Bruce Lee’s actual funeral for Billy Lo’s funeral.

Watch This: Fights, stunts, a fun revenge plot
Don’t Watch This: A zombie movie literally using Bruce Lee’s dead corpse to sell tickets; the footage originally shot is available in the moderately more tasteful documentary Bruce Lee: A Warrior’s Journey

* In an unintended parallel, Brandon Lee, Bruce Lee’s son, was shot and killed while filming The Crow with a gun in which a blank and a bullet with no charge managed to be put in the same chamber, a film in which he was playing a character who was killed and returned from the dead for revenge. I say unintended, but based on the delicacy and good taste shown by the makers of this film I have no doubt they would have happily done it intentionally if they’d had foreknowledge.

** See later

4. Daughters Of Satan

James Robertson (Tom Selleck) is in the Philippines where he acquires art and artefacts for an American museum. He visits an antiques shop where the owner shows him part of a tapestry but they think it’s probably not authentic. While there he sees a painting of 3 witches and a dog being burned; one of the women looks like his wife.

He buys the painting and takes it back home, to his wife Chris. It’s from 1592, based on a historical event*, called the Duarte Coven. She’s familiar with the history but can’t quite recall from where. The dog fades from the painting and then a similar dog with a collar claiming the name is Nicodemus turns up.

A mystery housekeeper arrives; she resembles one of the witches in the painting, who then fades from the painting. James goes to the address on the dog’s collar; it’s a mortuary. (We the viewers know this is related to the coven of witches we’ve seen in otherwise unrelated scenes). At the mortuary they give him an address which leads him back to the antiques shop where he got the painting; the dealer is dead and someone attacks him. From this he goes on to see a psychiatrist who the dealer knew; there he meets a patient who resembles the third witch in the painting.

With the pieces in place the film starts to get weird. Chris has changes in personality, which include trying to murder James, but they’re all subtle and made to look like accidents so they don’t succeed. He tries to get Chris to go to the psychiatrist but then the psychiatrist is killed when they explode his car by magic. A second painting turns up and we can see the man in charge of the burning, who looks like Tom Selleck; it might be Robertson’s ancestor.

There’s a bondage/black mass scene, more efforts to murder Robertson and the possession breaks before a twist ending. In all a fairly predictable horror story, slightly lifted by the weirdness of some of the scenes. Some Filipino bits are good, though almost none of the named characters or actors are Filipino which seems a missed opportunity.

Watch This: 1970s horror film with some cool scenes and situations
Don’t Watch This: Although it tries its best it falls apart at the end

* A fictional historical event, made up for the film.

5. Târ

Lydia Târ is the first female conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra; in the introduction to the interview that opens the film her enormous list of accomplishments is read out. She’s in New York before returning to Berlin, as she prepares to record Mahler’s Fifth Symphony, completing the sequence of all of Mahler that was interrupted by COVID. Also she has a book coming out.

A woman and a lesbian (and later in the film her wife, who is the first violinist of the orchestra, notes that coming out nearly destroyed both their careers) she prefers to focus on the art rather than the artist, claiming that millennials are “robots”. There are constant reminders that things are not well. Târ keeps an old studio flat separate to her home that she retreats to in order to work and compose. She has vivid dreams and sometimes hallucinations and other strange experiences. She’s taking pills of some sort and is lying to her wife about her medication. She instructs her assistant to destroy all emails from or about a young conductor she mentored, Krista Taylor.

Krista Taylor killed herself. The film makes it clear that Târ blocked her from conducting or other roles in the classical music world. Târ claims that Taylor was obsessed with her, stalked her. The film does not make it clear if they were lovers.

The film does make clear that Lydia Târ plays favourites, pushing forward a young Russian cellist, deliberately choosing a piece she excels at, bringing her along on her next (fraught) trip to New York. What exactly she intends, what the nature of the relationship is, that’s all cut short as she is forced to give a deposition on Krista’s death. Tabloid rumours that she preys sexually on young women and a maliciously edited video of her teaching a class force her out.

If the film won’t tell us what has happened, or be clear how what Târ says corresponds to what she does, it does want us to know some things. That music is beautiful and important. That music is about time and feeling. That the classical music world is hard and vicious and precarious. The being a genius does not absolve you from paying attention to other parts of your life, from being generous, or if not generous then honest, and honest not just when it lets you be a grandstanding conductor in front of an audience.

Watch This: A tour de force of a brilliant musician brought down by her hubris
Don’t Watch This: For all the lovely music she’s a self-justifying arse

6. Candyman: Farewell To The Flesh

A sequel to Candyman (1992) the film opens with Professor Purcell giving a slide show of what happened in the last film, as part of his book tour in New Orleans. Challenged if he believes in the Candyman, he says “Candyman” five times while facing the mirror-cover of his book, the ritual that summons the Candyman.

He’s confronted by Ethan Tennant whose father was murdered after investigating three previous Candyman killings. Then Purcell is killed by the Candyman in the toilet* of a bar and Ethan is arrested for it by two detectives.

Octavia and Anne, Ethan’s mother and sister, try to get him out. Anne’s an art teacher and one of her students has been painting the Candyman. She tries to stop the rumours in her class by saying Candyman five times in front of a mirror. Later her husband is killed by the Candyman, who stalks her, also telling her that she’s pregnant.

With Ethan in custody but another Candyman killing having occurred the detectives follow Anne when she goes to visit a friend of her father. He fills in some backstory** then is killed by the Candyman. Also Anne’s student is missing.

Carnival literally translated means “farewell to the flesh,” (carne = meat, vale = goodbye) and it’s carnival in New Orleans. The radio DJ who has been detailing the general opinion on the strange goings on and murders is in their element. Octavia is keeping secrets about the family history; when revealed she’s killed. The detectives try to get Ethan to say he’s been covering up for his sister; the Candyman interrupts and kills the detective and Ethan is then shot.

The explanation of what’s going on raises more questions and slightly cheapens the whole Candyman idea. Which apart from that is is good, well executed supernatural slasher horror. And when it’s not people being meathooked, they’re being beestung, a monster with two modes of creepy death is great.  Perhaps New Orleans does not especially add anything to the legend, but it’s a big, spooky city, it can take one more supernatural killer.

Watch This: Cool high concept horror film
Don’t Watch This: Muddled and confused explanation and a disappointing resolution

* Because toilets have big mirrors the Candyman spends a lot of time in toilets. But the film doesn’t really have anything to say about that. It’s just a matter of filming… convenience.

 ** Briefly, the Candyman was Daniel Robitaille, a black artist who fell in love with a white woman, Caroline. A mob cut off his hand, sticking a meat hook in place, covered him with honey so he’s stung to death by bees; then his body was burned.

7. Monkey Business (1952)

Dr Barnaby Fulton (Cary Grant) is a scientist working on an anti-aging formula, but it’s not working. He’s so distracted he doesn’t take his wife Edwina (Ginger Rogers) out to a party. This concerns their lawyer friend Hank Entwhistle.

The next day they think the formula has worked but it turns out they had mixed up the chimpanzees they tested it on. Encouraged by his boss Oliver Oxly he tries a new method, then leaves, only for the chimpanzee to escape her cage, mix up her own formula and pour it into the water cooler.

Fulton tries the formula he makes and then needs some water which he notes tastes bitter. Then he de-ages, taking Oxly’s ditzy secretary Lois Laurel (Marilyn Monroe) with him as he gets a new, younger haircut and suit, a sporty car and then they go out on the town.

After he sleeps he needs his glasses again and acts sensibly, not like a twenty year old man. Edwina bans him from trying the formula again, tries it herself, washes it down with water. She then pulls pranks on everyone and insists that Fulton take her out to the hotel their honeymoon was at and dances all night. Arguing, she throws Fulton out and calls Hank.

Edwina’s mother and Hank confront them the next day, thinking that Edwina wants a divorce. Tired, they go back to the lab and make coffee with water from the water cooler. Oxly tries to get them to sign away the rights, but they have reverted to childhood. Going home Fulton falls in with children playing Cowboys and Indians; they ambush Hank, tie him to a pole and “scalp” him (give him a Mohawk).

Meanwhile their housekeeper is looking after a baby, who discovers Edwina asleep and lies down next to her. Waking up thinking that the baby is a de-aged Fulton she returns to the lab in a panic for a confused slapstick ending. It’s a screwball comedy with some fun bits with Cary Grant and Ginger Rogers pretending to be kids, that occasionally strays into being weird (and briefly racist). The chimpanzees are amazing actors, which probably means some bad stuff happened off camera.

Watch This: Entertaining screwball comedy showing what 1950s audiences thought would be funny about being de-aged
Don’t Watch This: Several extended unfunny scenes of Cary Grant affably bumbling

8. Halls Of Montezuma

A US Marine unit in WW2 is going to assault a Japanese-held island. We’re introduced to them on board ship. The lieutenant, once a chemistry teacher, has been fighting since Guadalcanal, there are only a handful of survivors from that platoon and he keeps going on pills given to him by their medic*. One of his men, who was his student in civilian life and has been part of the platoon, thinks he can’t do it any more. The lieutenant gets him to put himself back together.

They storm the beach and attack the island. Somewhere in the middle they find themselves being pinned down by rocket fire, and they can’t locate the source. A Japanese-speaking sergeant informs the colonel that there’s a cave with a group of Japanese who will surrender so they send the lieutenant and all the troops played by named actors to try and capture them, and find out if they know where the rockets are.

They manage to capture them at some cost; when a sniper attacks them one of the troops tries to kill the prisoners and is killed in turn by another marine. Back at base they try to decipher a map overlay. The Japanese officer kills himself with a stolen knife, and there’s some twists and turns. Can they determine the location before the designated advance time?

A war film made in 1951, when they were still figuring out what the war film was going to be. A number of different Japanese characters appear, including cunning, honourable, and just doing their jobs. Similarly the Americans have a variety, mostly different versions of wanting to go home.

Watch This: Exciting War Movie that also has characters and despair
Don’t Watch This: You can feel the next seventy years of war films being sketched out

* The US Marines are the army of the US Navy. Sometimes they have their own formations for various operations, for example, the US Marine Corps has it’s own air wing. In others they don’t so “Doc” in this film is a US Navy corpsman, as they borrow their medical staff from the Navy proper. Don’t worry about this, it’s not important for the film.

9. Bulldog Drummond In Africa

OH NO I thought when I saw the title but fortunately this 1938 film barely engages with the local culture of Spanish Morocco. Bulldog Drummond is trying to get married to his fiancée Phyllis Clavering. In an attempt to avoid getting caught up in another wacky adventure he and his manservant Tenny have stayed at home without their trousers to avoid going out. After being tempted they even cut the phone line.

Unfortunately Phyllis spots Colonel Nielsen, Scotland Yard Commissioner, being kidnapped and can’t get hold of Drummond. Eventually she gets hold of Drummond’s idiot sidekick Algy and he brings them their trousers and they get on the trail. Scotland Yard insist they not follow, but they give them the slip and fly to Spanish Morocco.

A foreign super-spy is forming a league of evil spies in his mansion, which has lions guarding it. (The lion scenes are pretty good, though as they’re chained up and this film is from the era before No Animals Were Harmed In The Making Of This Motion Picture it’s probably best not to dwell on it). The British Consul doesn’t want Drummond involved because they’re setting a trap, but that gets turned around. Also they’ve captured Nielsen because he knows about the Radio Wave Disintegrator, a jammer (I think – radio was still a bit science fiction in 1938).

A slightly exotic adventure for Drummond and his pals, with lions and airplane action. In one of the others Phyllis threatens to run away to Africa if they don’t get married, and they didn’t, which I think might have been the impulse for this.

Watch This: Drummond does his thing, with a bit more lion-and-airplane action
Don’t Watch This: A silly and confused spy plot plus the lions do not come out well

10. Die, Monster, Die!

American Stephen Reinhart arrives in Arkham, England* to discover no one will take him out to the Whitley house, not even rent him a bicycle or tell him how to get there. He walks out, noticing a blasted field. Arriving at the house he meets his fiancée Susan Whitley (they met when she studied in America), her unwelcoming wheelchair-using father Nahum Whitley (Boris Karloff), and her bedridden mother Letitia Whitley. Letitia stays under her bed canopy, but is otherwise pleasant. There used to be a maid, Helga, but she fell mysteriously ill and left.

Despite this unpromising start Reinhart hangs around for the next couple of days. There was a fire that caused the blasted area. A strange figure is seen outside the window. The butler collapses and dies, the greenhouse glows at night**. Stephen and Susan investigate.

It ends in tragedy. No wait, in fact it ends in being chased by monsters, strange experiments, radioactivity and fire. A promising and spooky start blurs into a fairly uninteresting monster fight.

Watch This: A nice weird mystery in many layers
Don’t Watch This: I’ve been to unwelcoming houses in the English countryside and they’re not this interesting

* Not New England

** The film is loosely based on H P Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out Of Space” so I can inform you that the colour is in fact green.