I Watch Films: Monster Hunter

Monster Hunter

This is based on a game I haven’t played, but I have seen the cat-chef do the cooking for some reason, I guess that was a popular cut scene? Anyway a patrol of US Army Rangers (?) are driving through a stony desert (the latitude and longitude on screen suggest Afghanistan) looking for a missing patrol. The tracks vanish, the radio goes down, a storm comes in; they find themselves in a sandy desert with giant bones. They’re attacked by a burrowing monster (Tremors, Dune) that is poorly built for burrowing, most of them are killed; they escape onto a big rocky outcrop, but there are other monsters in the cave (they don’t like sunlight, Pitch Black, Vampire films). There’s one survivor, Captain Artemis (Milla Jovovich). She encounters a local named Hunter (Tony Jaa) who we saw get thrown overboard from a sand-sailing ship in the opening sequence, and they hunt each other.

They team up, escape, catch up with the ship and Ron Perlman explains the plot. The film’s two thirds over by now so they head for a dimension hopping fight with fire-breathing dragons finale.

The film looks good, the characters are cyphers, there’s some good action setpieces and excellent scenery.

Watch This: For some fun adventure times with not much to it
Don’t Watch This: Maybe play the game instead? Or recreate the cat feast, that’s something people do.