A Trip To The Barbers

 

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A Trip To The Barbers

Good morning sir, what can we do for you today. Short at the back, just out of your eyes at the front? Excellent choice.

So what do you think of the situation down at Forlorn Beach? Putting up all those barriers. I mean something had to be done. Too many people being drowned by the mermaids, too many coming home with selkies in tow. Now I’ve got nothing against any of the sea peoples, but as my Grandad used to say – water folk should stay in the water and land folk on the land.

Well quite, as I said, nothing against them, a nereid runs the fish and chip shop down the road, best chips in town. Down at Forlorn Beach, they’re building a barrier and as I said, something’s got to be done. But this is making a big mess. Lorries blocking the road day and night, carrying dirt in and out. And all those big vehicles, they’re attracting behemoths out of Darkling Swamp. One came right in and trampled my tulips. Someone should do something about it.

How’s that look... I’m sorry that was the magic mirror. Just ignore what you saw, its prophecies hardly ever come true. Now that looks very fine. You’ll have to stay away from the elves or you’ll be glamoured away.

Oh, when you pay the lady, don’t look her in the eye and if you’re paying with cash, don’t hand it to her. I’ve lost too many customers that way! Just put the money on the plate by the till.

Hello sir, what can I do for you. Just a trim? Of course. So, who do you fancy for the kelpie races down by the river this weekend...