The Scientific Adventures of Professor Lovebody in the Twentieth Century, as assisted by his associates Jonathan Salarius and Miss Prudence McVenture
12 months ago my patrons got to enjoy this tiny steampunk story about Professor Lovebody, an inventor whose contraptions inevitably remove his trousers at the most inconvenient moment. Now a year has gone by and I reveal it to the world. Click the link on his name for more on Professor Lovebody.
****
The Scientific Adventures of Professor Lovebody in the Twentieth Century, as assisted by his associates Jonathan Salarius and Miss Prudence McVenture
“Professor Lovebody, I really do not think this is wise.” Miss Prudence McVenture kept her back resolutely turned to the ongoing activities behind her as Jonathan Salarius assisted Professor Lovebody into his outfit.
“It would be much more convenient if you would face me Miss McVenture...” began Professor Lovebody.
“Sir!” she said in shock. “In the name of decency! And as we are due to go on stage at the meeting of the Inventor’s Guild in minutes I must speak to you urgently, no matter how awkward and inconvenient. Do you not recall the Steam Powered Differential Pressure Cleaner For Carpets, Floors And Other Indoor Surfaces that caught hold of your trousers and sucked them off in front of the Croydon, Sutton, Belmont and Cheam Gentlewomens' Society For Science and Technology?”
“It does not do to dwell on...” he began.
“’old still sir,” said Mr Salarius.
“The debacle in which the Temperature Reduction Unit froze your trousers while demonstrating to Lady Shadwell so that they shattered when you walked.”
“There will always be...”
“Or your lecture at Wimbledon Ladies College in which your demonstration of the electric windmill became caught in your belt causing you to be hoisted into the rafters from where you could only be released by I myself climbing and cutting your trousers from off your nether regions.”
“If you feel so strongly... oh!”
“Sorry about that sir,” said Mr Salarius.
“I do feel sternly Professor, which is why I have submitted my resignation five times already. I have yet to receive a response.”
“You know I depend on you to deal with the paperwork and correspondence Miss McVenture. This is why I employed you after all... Yikes!”
“All done sir,” said Mr Salarius. “You can turn round now if you like Miss, he’s decent again.”
“Good good. Well Miss McVenture I will address your concerns, but really now is not the time.”
Miss McVenture looked dubiously at the contraption that wrapped around Professor Lovebody’s legs. “If not when you are about to go on stage with the steam-rocket propelled ejecto-breeches on, then when exactly should I bring them up?”
****
The Scientific Adventures of Professor Lovebody in the Twentieth Century, as assisted by his associates Jonathan Salarius and Miss Prudence McVenture
“Professor Lovebody, I really do not think this is wise.” Miss Prudence McVenture kept her back resolutely turned to the ongoing activities behind her as Jonathan Salarius assisted Professor Lovebody into his outfit.
“It would be much more convenient if you would face me Miss McVenture...” began Professor Lovebody.
“Sir!” she said in shock. “In the name of decency! And as we are due to go on stage at the meeting of the Inventor’s Guild in minutes I must speak to you urgently, no matter how awkward and inconvenient. Do you not recall the Steam Powered Differential Pressure Cleaner For Carpets, Floors And Other Indoor Surfaces that caught hold of your trousers and sucked them off in front of the Croydon, Sutton, Belmont and Cheam Gentlewomens' Society For Science and Technology?”
“It does not do to dwell on...” he began.
“’old still sir,” said Mr Salarius.
“The debacle in which the Temperature Reduction Unit froze your trousers while demonstrating to Lady Shadwell so that they shattered when you walked.”
“There will always be...”
“Or your lecture at Wimbledon Ladies College in which your demonstration of the electric windmill became caught in your belt causing you to be hoisted into the rafters from where you could only be released by I myself climbing and cutting your trousers from off your nether regions.”
“If you feel so strongly... oh!”
“Sorry about that sir,” said Mr Salarius.
“I do feel sternly Professor, which is why I have submitted my resignation five times already. I have yet to receive a response.”
“You know I depend on you to deal with the paperwork and correspondence Miss McVenture. This is why I employed you after all... Yikes!”
“All done sir,” said Mr Salarius. “You can turn round now if you like Miss, he’s decent again.”
“Good good. Well Miss McVenture I will address your concerns, but really now is not the time.”
Miss McVenture looked dubiously at the contraption that wrapped around Professor Lovebody’s legs. “If not when you are about to go on stage with the steam-rocket propelled ejecto-breeches on, then when exactly should I bring them up?”
Comments