March Films Update 1

Ten films I watched last year.

****

 1. Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy (real, Paul Newman) is the talkative, charismatic leader of the Hole In The Wall Gang of outlaws in the old West; The Sundance Kid (real, Robert Redford) is the laconic deadshot gunman. After defeating a challenge to his leadership Butch takes on the challenger's plan to rob a train going one way and then back the other. The first robbery goes well and it’s revealed that Butch and Sundance are on good terms with the local townsfolk, Sundance meeting with his girlfriend, the schoolteacher Etta Place (real, Katherine Ross).

Robbing the train on the way back they find the train safe has been reinforced; when they blow it up it scatters the contents. Another train arrives; it turns out that furious with the losses the head of the train company E H Harriman (real) has assembled a super-team of lawmen to pursue them. Unable to lose them despite desperate measures Butch, Sundance and Etta leave the country for Bolivia, where there is a boom thanks to mining.

In Bolivia they initially fail at robbing banks due to rudimentary Spanish, so Etta teaches them (they never become fluent). Notorious as Los Bandidos Yanquis they become worried after spotting the distinctive white hat worn by one of the lawmen after them (Joe Lefors, real, probably never really went to Bolivia). They attempt to go straight as payroll guards for an American miner but he’s killed by bandits and they give up. Etta decides to go back to America.

Having dealt with the local payroll bandit gang they go into it for themselves, using one of the mules to take the money back to town. The distinctive brand is spotted and the police called in, leading to a final confrontation.

This is an excellent Western, held together by the charisma of the two stars – and their relationship. The two are bound together by their crimes, and there’s just enough friction, enough secrets to keep it interesting, even as they joke and have fun with it. In the end there’s a lot of shooting and violence to steal money, and where does that money go, they seem to spend it like water. So what was the point. Well maybe it was the adventures they had along the way

Watch This: Classic Western with great chemistry amongst the leads and some good jokes
Don’t Watch This: Bandits wreck lives including their own

2. House On Haunted Hill (1959)

Millionaire Frederick Loren (Vincent Price) has hired The Haunted House On Haunted Hill and is throwing a party for his wife Annabelle. Every one of the 5 guests gets $10,000 if they stay the night – the staff leaving and locking the doors at midnight (the doors, windows etc are all impenetrable for the purposes of this film). The Lorens appear to be amicably spiteful, only for it to be revealed that Frederick believes Annabelle tried to poison him for his money.

One of the guests is now the owner of the house; it used to belong to his brother. After spending one night there he is convinced it is haunted by the ghosts of those murdered there. How were they murdered? They go down to the basement where there is a large and extremely poorly secured vat of acid, when they lift the lid it’s just sitting there like a small pool in the floor, no railing or even safety sign, anyway it was used by a man to kill his wife.

The characters introduce themselves, try to find out what’s going on, why they’re there, why they’ve been invited, what are the mysterious things going on and what, in fact, the Lorens’ deal is. Each of them is given a gun to protect themselves, though presumably not from ghosts. One of them is locked in a small room and one hit on the head. Annabelle confides in one guest that she thinks Frederick murdered his second and third wives. One decides to leave only to find the servants have left five minutes early and locked up.

Inevitably one of them is found murdered and everyone suspects everyone else. They won’t (can’t?) stay together and more murder and hijinks ensue. The longer it goes on frankly the more tiresome it is; once the Lorens are permanently parted the film loses it’s best character dynamic.

Watch This: Fun, snappy, old school horror with a few real moments of perversity
Don’t Watch This: Drags a bit, very silly

3. The Lost World (2001)

Professor Challenger (Bob Hoskins) shoots a pterosaur in the Amazonian rainforest; he loses it when his boat overturns. Returning to London he makes his claim at a lecture at the Natural History Museum but is rejected. However Lord John Roxton, just back from big game hunting abroad and cutting a swathe through the ladies, takes up the challenge, offering to fund half the expedition. Edward Malone (Mathew Rhys) a reporter for the Daily Gazette, rashly commits himself to it for exclusive rights, hoping for fame, fortune and a promotion so he can marry his girlfriend Gladys. Professor Summerlee, Challenger’s rival also joins, intending to make sure that Challenger’s findings are correct.

Challenger has a map from a Portuguese missionary who reported seeing dragons in the region. Going up river they find themselves at a remote mission run by Reverand Theo Kerr, with the assistance of his niece Agnes. Kerr condemns Darwin; Roxton flirts with Agnes. Needing a translator for the local bearers and guides Agnes joins the expedition. However the locals leave them as the place is taboo and Kerr arrives, trying to tell them to leave.

They find their way to the high plateau which is too high and steep to climb. They find the cave on the map, but it’s blocked. They then find a climbable offshoot, separated from the main plateau, but by cutting down a tree they’re able to make a bridge. However after they’ve crossed Kerr destroys the bridge, leaving all the others trapped.

They find dinosaurs, pterosaurs and also ape-men. There’s a lake (Edward names it after Gladys) they camp by. Edward and Agnes are chased by a carnivorous allosaurus, but survive when it falls into a man-made trap – but not one built by them. Who is building traps? (This was a two part mini-series or TV movie when shown and part one ends here).

Back at the camp Challenger and Summerlee have been abducted by ape men. The others encounter some indigenous humans led by Achille, the son of their chief; as is later revealed they are the descendants of the expedition that made the map. They go to rescue Challenger and Summerlee, Roxton impressing them with his shooting. Having defeated the ape-men Challenger stops their execution, instead having them kept prisoner to Achille’s anger. However as they think Challenger is Mendoz, who led them there, they obey. They inspect the other end of the cave system, and they’re told that it was blocked by a visitor from below, trapping them on the plateau.

After a bit more dinosaur adventure, Roxton takes up with Maree, a local woman, seeking to marry her and proving his worth by killing big dinosaurs. Things take a turn for the worse when an ape-child dies and the ape-men take up howling. This attracts two allosauruses (allosauri?) who cause havoc before Roxton can kill them with his elephant gun. Challenger released the ape-men rather than let them be killed by the dinosaurs, and Achille, furious, leads an attack on the Englishmen. Summerlee having discovered a vast quantity of pterosaur guano, has used it to make explosives and clears the cave. Roxton, having been stabbed by an ape-man holds off the tribe to let the others escape.

Back down below they encounter Kerr, who believed that the dinosaurs and so forth made it the realm of Satan and he blocked the passage. He tries to stop them and is killed in the attempt. They then return to London for an ambiguous ending.

This exists in part because the BBC had good dinosaur CGI (see 1999’s documentary series Walking With Dinosaurs), and also good period drama skills. Hence this adaption of the classic novel. It stands up fairly well – the changes to the plot of the novel helping to ease over some of the more awkward 1912 attitudes. The addition of a woman to the party – hardly a new idea– is welcome, though the romance subplot is rather limp.

Watch This: Strong adaption, with good dinosaur action and fun adventure
Don’t Watch This: We’ve seen dinosaurs at least as good, and there’s not much more to it

4. Kind Hearts And Coronets

Louis D’Ascoyne Mazzini, 10^th Duke of Chalfont, is in prison in Edwardian England, due to be hanged in the morning. He writes his memoirs, which begin with his mother, the daughter of the 7^th Duke, eloping with Mazzini, an Italian opera singer. Disowned by her family, they manage well enough until shortly after Louis’s birth when Mazzini dies. After that she has to take in lodgers, though she always reminds Louis of his heritage, and the unusual Chalfont inheritance that can pass through the female as well as the male line. Kept away from most of the local (lower class) children, Louis’s only friends are the children of doctor Hallward, in particular the daughter Sibella.

When he leaves school his mother writes to Lord Ascoyne D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness) asking him to take him on in his bank. She’s refused and Louis goes to work as a draper. Although he does well and is promoted, Sibella has set her sights higher and is being courted by a rich if dull businessman, Lionel. When Louis’s mother dies she requests to be put in the family tomb, which the Duke of Chalfont (Alec Guinness) refuses.

After Sibella marries Lionel moves into London to work at a more fashionable store. There he encounters Ascoyne D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness), the son of Lord Ascoyne D’Ascoyne, planning an affair with a woman. Ascoyne gets Louis dismissed from his job. Deciding on revenge Louis follows him to his weekend assignation where he kills Ascoyne and his mistress in what appears to be a boating accident. Having got away with audacious act he decides to go for broke and kill the seven others ahead of him in the succession. He begins by writing to Lord Ascoyne D’Ascoyne a letter of condolence; now moved to family feeling Lord D’Ascoyne employs him as a clerk, and finding him able, soon promotes him. Louis takes a fashionable and private flat; here he begins an affair with Sibella who is bored by her husband.

Louis moves on to target Henry D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness). There he meets Henry's wife Edith and is charmed by her; he successfully kills Henry by sabotaging his photographic studio (where he keeps the booze, his wife disapproving of drinking). Louis decides to court Edith.

He goes on to poison Reverend D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness) and shoot down the balloon-riding Lady D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness). Admiral D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness) poses a problem as he is at sea, but fortune favours him and he goes down with his ship. He then sends a bomb to General D’Ascoyne (Alec Guinness).

Deciding to marry Edith, to Sibella’s despair, Louis and Edith notify the Duke. He invites them to stay, where he notes that with so many deaths in the family he intends to marry for a second time and father an heir to keep the Dukedom in the family. Louis kills him, making it look like a hunting accident, following which Lord D’Ascoyne dies of a heart attack on hearing he’s now the duke.

Lionel, Sibella’s husband, a client at the bank, is having money troubles and begs Louis for help while drunk. Louis turns him down and later Lionel is found dead. Louis is arrested for his murder and chooses to be tried by his peers in the House Of Lords. Edith marries him while he’s on trial; Sibella, a witness, claims Lionel intended to divorce her, naming Louis a co-respondent. Louis is found guilty and we return to the present.

This is a comedy of class, of revenge, of love even. The stunt casting of Alec Guinness as every member of the D’Ascoyne family works brilliantly. Though most of them are just one-shot comic characters, he gives Young Henry and the Duke his full powers and they are thoroughly convincing. Louis, done wrong by, is downright wicked when he gets the upper hand. He deserves everything that’s coming.

Watch This: Classic crime comedy still with much to enjoy
Don’t Watch This: Snobbish murderous nonsense

5. The Wackiest Ship In The Army

Lieutenant Rip Crandall (Jack Lemmon) is taken off his ship in the US Navy in the Pacific in 1943 and given a ship of his own – the USS Echo, a sailing vessel. He’s been given this assignment because he used to be a yachtsman before the war; the only other crewman with sail experience is Ensign Tommy Hanson. Crandall tries to get out of the command but is convinced to keep it with the claim that it’s vital for the war effort. He briefly drills his crew then takes them from Australia to Port Moresby in New Guinea. They weather a storm and a minefield, their radio not working as the engine has broken down.

There Rip is to be replaced by a locally based officer who he immediately dislikes. The mission is this; to disguise themselves as a local trading vessel and go to the New Hebrides islands where their shallow draft will let them sneak up river to drop off a coastwatcher to replace one who has lost contact. This is important as they are expecting big Japanese movements in the near future and need to have them reported in order to fight the Battle Of The Bismarck Sea.

Crandall tricks the other officer, takes command and heads off. They move the coastwatcher’s equipment up the hills to cache it, but spot the Japanese, both on land and a convoy at sea. Arriving back at the ship they discover it has been captured and they are captured too. The Japanese try to get information from them, then they counterattack and get the ship back. Crandall is wounded; to radio in the sighting they need to give away their position to the Japanese, for the final confrontation.

This works just fine as a war film, and when it’s about the hijinks of an under-trained crew on an unusual ship it’s fun as a comedy. Sadly the first section where Crandall tries to get out of it is dull and unfunny. On land in Port Moresby is a bit better.

Watch This: Entertaining world war two comedy with some fun sailing bits
Don’t Watch This: Spends a lot of time doing some unfunny land based bits and doesn’t have any more jokes after it turns serious

6. The Snows Of Kilimanjaro

"Kilimanjaro is a snow-covered mountain 19,710 feet high, and is said to be the highest mountain in Africa. Close to the western summit there is the dried and frozen carcass of a leopard. No one has explained what the leopard was seeking at that altitude.”

Harry Street (Gregory Peck) is a writer on safari in Africa, ill and dying from an injury to his leg. He claims it was from walking into a thorn, his partner Helen (Susan Hayward) thinks the infection set in when he dived in the river rescuing a porter from hippos (they’d got too close as Harry had insisted to get some pictures). He thinks back on his life, how he ended up here.

Harry traveled to Paris as a young man in the 20s, met a woman named Cynthia (Ava Gardner). The two fell in love. When his first novel sells he and Cynthia go on safari in Africa, as he thinks he needs to see more of the world to write. She falls pregnant, but Harry only learns about this when she miscarries. Thinking Harry is going to leave her to take a war correspondent job she leaves him.

Harry spends some more time in France and becomes engaged to Countess Elizabeth (Hildegard Knef). The Countess has been intercepting his letters from Cynthia; when he finds out at their engagement party he leaves her to go to Madrid where the letter came from. She’s not there; the Spanish Civil War starts and Harry joins up.

He encounters Cynthia who is an ambulance driver, but she is killed and he is wounded. Harry returns to Paris where he encounters Helen (Susan Heywood), who he mistakes for Cynthia. His Uncle Bill dies and sends him a letter with the puzzle of the leopard. He and Helen go on safari in Africa, him looking for answers or material for writing, and he ends up injured. The crisis comes upon them; vultures and hyenas circle the camp; the porters bring in a witch doctor. Helen chases them off and decides to treat the wound herself.

Based on a Hemingway story it still looks good, and the actors have some real life to them. The story turns out to be a bit slight, and having given it a happy ending the film rather tritely seems to suggest the leopard went up there for love, or maybe because of Harry’s love he won’t die like the leopard.

Watch This: Enjoyable 1950s romance with a bit more grit than most
Don’t Watch This: Man manages to mess up his love life, can’t write without shooting animals

7. Mean Streets (1973)

Charlie Cappa (Harvey Keitel) is a low-level mafia guy in New York. He’s seeing Teresa (Amy Robinson), though he’s been advised not to go out with her by his uncle (Cesare Danova), a more serious mafia guy, as she has epilepsy and her family’s not good. Her family includes her cousin Johnny Boy (Robert De Niro), an even lower level mafia guy, who won’t hold down his job, causes trouble when they go out to collect money, and owes money all over town thanks to his gambling. Charlie is also having something of a crisis of faith as a Catholic, as being a mafia guy is probably sinful.

They spend a lot of time being vaguely ineffectual, hanging out, occasionally ripping people off or attempting to collect money – this goes wrong in a pool hall and they have a fight, the police turn up, they get the police to go away and leave on good terms with the pool hall owner (?). Johnny Boy keeps causing problems for them

Charlie tries to get Johnny Boy out of trouble by arranging a meeting with Michael, one of the people he owes money to, and arrange repayment. Johnny instead insults him and pulls a gun; Michael walks away from the confrontation but Charlie insists they leave town until tempers have cooled. Teresa insists on coming with them; as they drive out of New York they’re attacked on the road in the final scenes.

An early Martin Scorsese crime film, there’s a real griminess to New York in it. Johnny Boy is out of control, and the senior guys know this, and having outrun their patience want to leave him to sink or swim. But Charlie thinks he can maybe save him, and salve his conscience, and also stay with Teresa (Johnny, as family, accepts her epilepsy). And what use is it to be a gangster if you don’t stand by your gang?

Watch This: Gritty gangster film with some fun bits of petty crime in 70s New York
Don’t Watch This: Young gangsters fail to solve their problems or get anywhere

8. Wallace & Gromit: A Matter Of Loaf And Death

Wallace (inventor) has turned his house into a giant ridiculously automated bakery and assisted by his dog Gromit delivers bread and other baked goods all over town. As it turns out he’s chosen the right time to get into the baking game as twelve other bakers have mysteriously vanished. Piella Bakewell and her poodle Fluffles are riding on their bike when the brakes fail and they head for the crocodile pit in the zoo. Fortunately Wallace and Gromit are passing in their delivery van and rescue them though Gromit can’t find anything wrong with the bike.

Wallace recognises Piella as the former Bake-O-Lite pin-up girl and he and Piella immediately begin a romance and Gromit is annoyed when she redecorates their house, including his room. He and Fluffles exchange a moment; later when Piella forgets her purse Wallace sends Gromit to her house where he discovers twelve mannequins dressed as the deceased bakers and a book with a picture of Wallace as the thirteenth. Wallace is too distracted by love to pay any attention.

Gromit boobytraps the house with security measures; Piella fakes Gromit biting her, so Wallace muzzles him and chains him up. About to push Wallace into the machinery Piella is stopped by Fluffles and leaves. She then sends a cake in apology. Gromit goes to her house where he’s captured and locked up with Fluffles and Piella reveals the cake is a bomb. Gromit and Fluffles escape in the old Bake-O-Lite hot air balloon to try and stop Wallace, with Piella following for a slapstick showdown.

This is a short Wallace & Gromit stop motion animated film, and though it rang one or two bells when I watched it, I think I may have missed it when it came out (2008) and never caught it since. This has essentially all the elements – Wallace has an inventing scheme to make fun visuals, one that Gromit has to do most of the work; Wallace is distracted by a new friend/romantic partner; a madcap finale. And plenty of jokes; the 29 minute format ensures it does not outstay it’s welcome.

Watch This: Great fun with charming characters and machinery that goes haywire
Don’t Watch This: Very thin and silly story

9. Black Bag (2025)

A top-secret British computer program called Severus has leaked. George Woodhouse (Michael Fassbender) of the National Cyber Security Centre (part of British Intelligence, specifically GCHQ) is given five suspects and the task of finding out who did it. They are two couples, all NCSC employees and his wife Kathryn (Cate Blanchett), also an NCSC officer. He invites them all to dinner, his cooking skills and pride in them infamous in the Centre.

George drugs them to loosen tongues and then has them play a game where they make a resolution for the person next to them. This gets out of hand when Freddie is revealed to have been cheating on his girlfriend Clarissa and she stabs him in the hand with a knife. Later that night George’s boss, who gave him the assignment, dies at home, apparently of a heart attack.

George finds a movie ticket, but his wife claims not have seen the film. George has explained that he doesn’t like liars, an interesting position to take as a member of British Intelligence, presumably why he got the counterintelligence interrogation role. In fact every character takes a position on lies, lying and (romantic) cheating. The titular Black Bag turns out to be a metaphorical one. Sometimes George or Kathryn have to go away and do some intelligence work and not tell one another what they’ve done; this is something they refer to as Black Bag, it’s put in the bag and ignored. They could be cheating on each other, they could be stealing secret funds, they could be selling secrets to enemies, they might even be doing their actual spy jobs, who knows.

But this is business and George has one of the suspects redirect a satellite to watch Kathryn while abroad on spy business to see who she meets. She meets a dissident Russian, and while the satellite is watching her another dissident Russian escapes the safe house the satellite was previously watching. He’s the most likely one to have got Severus and is probably going to use it to meltdown a nuclear powerplant. Again this is all inconclusive, as any of the suspects could have been alerted to the time, knowing that George would need to watch. And more, the big boss (Pierce Brosnan) is now on the case, clashing with Kathryn, and possibly behind the leaking of Severus.

This film is mostly about quiet talks and reveals of personality and relationships. It does occasionally break out into violence. And at the heart is the marriage of George and Kathryn, developed by the two dinner parties* that bookend the film, and the case.

Watch This: Coolly domestic spy drama
Don’t Watch This: Lot of lying liars lie to each other and worse

* George drugs one dish in the first, the second is somehow even less palatable; he is an appalling host

10. It Feeds

Cynthia is a therapist, who is also a psychic. This lets her enter her patient’s minds and help uncover the source of their problems in a stylised manner. Her psychic powers have caused problems in the past; she has her daughter Jordan screen potential clients. A young girl named Riley arrives, claiming she’s been told Cynthia is the only one who can help. Forcing her way in Cynthia sees something behind Riley and collapses, insisting Riley leave. She’s taken away by her father. Cynthia tells Jordan she can’t help her but Jordan refuses to believe that.

Jordan tracks down Riley via the recommendation from a former client Agatha (who is dipsy, spiritual and not quite agoraphobic – she’s doing much better since her sessions with Cynthia). It turns out the father did some work on her furniture. Going to their house Jordan discovers odd things including a locked basement. Within are drained, skeletal bodies. It turns out that the creature who is possessing Riley feeds on people, and her father locking her up and then feeding people to her.

When Jordan doesn’t return Cynthia gets Agatha to lead her to the house, but things go wrong. Whatever it is has possessed Jordan. And now the father has a way out of this. If Jordan dies and no one is there to touch her then the creature will have no way to carry on, no way to continue. Cynthia has to use her powers, open herself in a way that risks herself. And the police are involved, who (mostly) don’t believe in possessing feeders and psychic psychiatrists.

This film has several strong scenes, starting with the creature only appearing for an instant or in a glimpse, while at the end Cynthia and Jordan find themselves in a black and red gothic grand guignol fantasy setting that is the interior landscape of the creature’s mind. It’s a set of familiar horror ingredients but they’re good ones, and not often used together in this way.

Watch This: Creepy effective horror film
Don’t Watch This: Just keeps adding new weird bits as it goes on