June Film Update 4

Ten more films I saw earlier this year.

1. The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit with a magic ring. Deciding to retire from the Shire on his 111^th birthday after a spectacular party he disappears using the ring. The wizard Gandalf, who brought fireworks, convinces him to leave the ring, along with his house, worldly goods and presumably fortune, with his nephew Frodo.

Suspicious of the ring, Gandalf does some research. He discovers it is The One Ring, a powerful magical artefact the dark lord Sauron poured much of his power into. Sauron has risen again and is seeking the ring. Gollum, the previous ringbearer, has fallen into the hands of Sauron and so the dark lord has dispatched his dark riders to try and find it.

Gandalf sends Frodo out of The Shire, saying he will meet him in Bree. He’s accompanied by Samwise Gamgees, his gardener who overheard the conversation, and by his cousins Merry and Pippin. The dark riders nearly catch them. Gandalf is not in Bree; instead there is Strider aka Aragorn, a ranger. The five of them escape the dark riders again having various adventures. Frodo is wounded by a dark rider, the cursed blade poisoning him. He’s rescued by Arwen, an elf, and taken to the home of her father, Lord Elrond.

Gandalf went to consult the wizard Saruman, but Saruman betrayed him, seeking the ring for himself, allying with Sauron and raising an army of orcs, called the Uruk-Hai. Arriving in Elrond’s home of Rivendell are a variety of others, and a council is called to decide what to do with it. Destroy it is the conclusion they come to, though the ring causes dissension. The only place it can be destroyed is where it was forged, Mount Doom in Mordor in the heart of Sauron’s domain. A fellowship of nine is formed to take it; Gandalf, Strider, the four hobbits, Boromir a man from Gondor, Legolas an elf and Gimli a dwarf.

The rest of the film has them attempt to get to Mordor, being waylaid and diverted along the way. The ring corrupts virtue; Frodo’s virtues are those of a hobbit, small ones, so he’s able to continue. Gandalf guards himself (he makes sure he never touches the ring in the Shire). But Gandalf is lost in the mines of Moria and Boromir, who loves his country, wants the ring to use it to save Gondor. The film ends with the fellowship broken, but the surviving companions determined to save something from the remains.

It's a magnificent achievement, bringing Tolkien’s fantasy epic to the big screen (or small screen in the case of this viewing by me) so remarkably well. So faithfully, though much has been moved about, changed in focus or scope, little has been completely cut. Some will talk of the extended versions, and the richness there, but this is well paced, not feeling as long as it is, and leaving you wanting more. Which is just as well as the sequel is there for us.

Watch This: Excellent fantasy film
Don’t Watch This: The struggles of evil and temptation are obscured more than highlighted by a fantastic setting

2. Carry On Up The Jungle

There’s an Edwardian expedition into the jungle in Africa. It consists of several English people – Professor Tinkle (Frankie Howard), an ornithologist seeking the legendary Oozlum Bird*; his assistant Chumley (Kenneth Connor); Tinkle’s patron Lady Bagley (Joan Sims); Lady Bagley’s companion June (Jacki Piper); English guide Bill Boosey (Sid James); African guide Upsidaisi (Bernard Bresslaw blacked up); also some unnamed porters, not blacked up**.

Lady Bagley has an ulterior motive; twenty years ago she was on another expedition in the area. Her husband and baby son vanished. They’re probably dead but she hopes to find the son's distinctive nappy pin. Meanwhile they are menaced by a gorilla; the porters are worried they are in the territory of the cannibal “Nosha” tribe; and they are watched from the trees by Ug (Terry Scott) a clumsy, comedy Tarzan, with a nappy pin on his loincloth.

June meets Ug at a pool where she rescues him from drowning; the two are attracted to each other. That night Ug enters the camp, accidentally going into Lady Bagley’s tent; there she spots the nappy pin before he flees. The Noshas kidnap the party; Ug makes a clumsy attempt at rescue and he and June get away, as does Upsidaisi. The rest prepare to meet their doom when the all-female (and white) Lubby-Dubby tribe from the lost world of Aphrodisia attack and kidnap them. Their leader Leda (Valerie Leon) takes them back to their kingdom where their leader, the only male, King Tonka, is revealed to be Lord Bagley (Charles Hawtrey).

There’s some generally unfunny amazon-breeding jokes after which Upsidaisi sneaks in dressed as a woman*** to rescue them; soldiers attack, Ug creates a stampede of stock footage of animals and the whole thing bumbles to an end. There’s a few good lost world/Tarzan/African adventure jokes in there, and when the film remembers to make fun of the English trying to be English while trekking through the jungle it’s a moderately good sitcom. But the things it’s parodying are already ridiculous, it doesn’t need some scatological puns and sex comedy to point them out.

Watch This: Modestly amusing jungle comedy
Don’t Watch This: Lacks any real bite at the things it’s mocking, while it’s own characters and plot are limp

* A folk-tale/tall-tale/joke of a bird that flies in ever decreasing circles until it disappears up it’s own backside. I don't think they actually state it in the film, though I might of missed it.

** Carry On producers, name one black actor challenge, failed.

*** The only black woman in this film set in sub-Saharan Africa is a man in blackface

3. The 39 Steps (1978)

It’s 1914, the Greek Prime Minister is coming to London. He’s the only one holding together the Balkans and preventing Europe plunging into war. Former British intelligence officer Colonel Scudder has put together clues and the assassination of key politicians, and realised that German Imperial agents are trying to force a war. Hunted by the agents he takes shelter in a different flat in the same building where Richard Hannay, mining engineer of South Africa is staying.

Hannay is going to his long ago hometown in Scotland, goes to St Pancras to buy a ticket. German agents attack Scudder who flees after him, posting his notes. Scudder doesn’t quite manage to hand Hannay another notebook before being stabbed and dying in Hannay’s arms. Hannay is arrested. When being taken from the police station to jail German agents capture him and interrogate him about the “39 steps”; Hannay doesn’t know. They let him loose, following him to find out what he knows. Hannay finds the notebook, which has only a three word riddle in it*. He escapes on a train, but has to flee on foot when the police board it.

Hannay escapes across the Scottish moors with police and Germans after him. He falls in with Alex Mackenzie and her fiancé David Hamilton, claiming he's on the run for a bet. He imitates a Liberal Party speaker in an amusing scene, gets captured and drugged and imprisoned in a very posh hospital. Fortunately for him Hamilton, Mackenzie and party are there for a charity ball and he is able to get hold of the notebook and figure out part of the plot. There’s a highly-placed member of the British government who is an agent and also a bomb in the palace of Westminster when the Greek Prime Minister is giving a speech. This leads to the famous finale on the clock face of “Big Ben**”.

A period piece it harkens back to earlier modes of adventure fiction. Although people get killed – quite a lot of them, in quite nasty ways – Hannay remains light-hearted, having fun with being on the run. Old-fashioned and occasionally it lags, but soon Hannay will always find himself in a new and interesting situation.

Watch This: Fun adventure film
Don’t Watch This: Nods to the original novel but then decides on a spectacular ending

* “One Horse Dorp,” Hannay’s South African slang description of his hometown.

** Big Ben is the name of the bell, the clock tower’s name is Big Ben’s monster.

4. Schindler’s List

Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson) is a Nazi party member who arrives in occupied Krakow in Poland. Jews have been forbidden from owning businesses; by bribing SS officials and working with a Jewish leader and black marketeer Itzhak Stern (Ben Kingsley) he gets control of a enamelware company, employing cheap Jewish labour.

As the war goes on and the Nazi campaign to exterminate Jews goes on Stern uses Schindler’s contacts to protect members of his community. By classifying them as essential workers some of them are spared the absolute worst. Nevertheless they are driven into a ghetto; moved out into a camp; forced to perform humiliating labour; many are shipped off to be killed.

Spielberg shows the human side, as the Jewish population has to endure worse and worse, as Schindler comes to understand and reject what is going on, and even Amon Göth (Ralph Fiennes), SS officer who happily murders Jews at the slightest whim, is slowly forced to a reckoning by his love and desire for a Jewish woman who is his servant. A harrowing historical film.

Watch This: Brilliantly shot Holocaust drama
Don’t Watch This: Harrowing and horrifying Holocaust drama

5. The Haunting Of The Queen Mary

The Queen Mary was a transatlantic cruise liner; it’s now retired and anchored permanently in Long Beach California. It had a long and storied history, holding the Blue Ribband, for fastest crossing of the Atlantic, and use as a troop ship during World War 2. Many famous people crossed on it. There are also many dark stories; with so many thousands of people on board there have been numerous deaths and it's reported to be haunted, with ghost tours taking place aboard the ship (now a tourist attraction).

All this is historical fact.

In 2022 Ann and Patrick Calder take their son Lukas to the Queen Mary, to pitch a VR experience there. Lukas goes missing, finds the swimming pool, which should no longer be there. Strange things happen.

In 1938, at Halloween, Gwen and David Raitch are on a crossing with their daughter Jackie. They bluff their way into the First Class ball, where Jackie tries to impress a film producer and dances with Fred Astaire. When Gwen and David are thrown out, David starts killing people.

There’s a dark secret at the heart of the Queen Mary. One that cannot be allowed to escape. One that is kept by the captain. And even now there’s a captain, even if he’s just the oldest tour guide. So when Ann and Patrick discover something has happened to Lukas they return to seek out the secrets.

A stylish, stylised horror film, the two time periods reflecting one another, events then becoming events now. And more, other times, the Queen Mary ran over an escorting warship during WW2, didn’t stop. There’s always a sacrifice, always a price to be paid for speed and safe passage.

Watch This: Serious time-bending horror
Don’t Watch This: Complicated to the point of confusion

6. The Beverley Hillbillies (1993)

Jed Clampett, an Arkansas hillbilly, discovers oil on his land. It’s worth a billion dollars and rather strangely the oil company actually pays up, the contract being read by cousin Jethro (who went to Oxford – an Arkansas town where he completed 6^th grade). Jed’s concerned that his daughter Elly May isn’t growing up ladylike, in part because her mother died. Jed, Elly May, Jethro and Granny all decide to go to the poshest town in America – Beverley Hills.

They have their banker buy them a house (next door to him) and promptly settle down to have some cultural misunderstandings. Some of these are amusing, others tiresome. Jed uses his good nature and homespun wisdom, so when the banker’s assistant has them arrested for trespassing, he insists she not be fired, but instead do everything for the Clampetts, as she was just trying to protect their house.

A plot arrives as Woodrow, a shady banker at the bank, and his con artist girlfriend Laura Jackson, decide to steal the Clampett fortune. Having planted the idea that the poshest you can be is French, Laura poses as Laurette Voleur, a freelance French etiquette teacher. Jed thinks that Elly May needs a mother and there are some comic attempts to make a match. Laura is able to cut them out, feigns romantic interest and Jed proposes, leading to a big old Arkansas shindig of a wedding.

Based on a long running American sitcom from the 60s and 70s, it’s all a bit tired. The implausibly ignorant country folk encountering modernity and passing out homespun wisdom (also a good asswhuppin’ and a swig of Granny’s moonshine) no longer passes muster as especially entertaining, and if you want it you can always go back to the original. And the modernity of a 1990s family-friendly movie now looks kind of old-fashioned as well.

Watch This: A few good jokes and fun juxtapositions
Don’t Watch This: The comedy has no bite, which makes cousin Jethro’s stupidity just seem mean-spirited

7. Batman (1966)

Batman and Robin get a tip that Commodore Schmiddlapp is threatened aboard his yacht; flying out in the batcopter the yacht vanishes and a shark attacks. The clues suggest that four of Batman’s greatest foes have combined into the United Underworld – The Joker, The Riddler, The Penguin and Catwoman.

Schmiddlapp has invented a dehydrator for his distillery, so he can dehydrate whisky, transport it and rehydrate it. The four criminals have him in a room where they’ve faked it as a ship with fog.

Batman and Robin hold a press conference where they essentially refuse to answer questions. Amongst the journalists is Miss Kitka from Moscow, who’s actually Catwoman in disguise. (Occasionally she remembers she’s a Soviet and criticises Bruce Wayne in a 13-year-old Tumblr communist manner).

A clue suggests Miss Kitka is being threatened by the United Underworld, so Bruce Wayne (Batman’s alter ego) goes on a date with her. Unfortunately the date goes too well and Robin and Alfred tune out to respect their privacy; when they check back in the tow have been kidnapped, or “kidnapped” in Miss Kitka’s case. The United Underworld then set a trap for Batman, insisting he bring a ransom.

The film is a set of ridiculous setpieces like this, and if sometimes it drags, we know that one of villains will do something outrageous, or Batman will do a stunt or there will be a cheap-looking but well-designed set. Cartoonish in the best sense – bright colours, clever visuals, jokes and the characters taking everything deadly seriously.

Watch This: Classic superhero film when it was for kids
Don’t Watch This: Very silly

8. Jaws 2

Amity Island, a beach tourist destination, has sprung back from the events of Jaws (attacks by a Great White Shark). A new hotel has opened. Meanwhile some underwater photographers are attacked and killed by a Great White Shark. They aren’t found but the camera is. Later a water skier is attacked; attempting to drive off the shark with a flare gun the boat's driver manages to blow up the boat. Police Chief Brody is suspicious that there’s a shark out there but has no proof.

The teenagers on the island all have dinghies they sail in, and who sails with who is part of the shifting tide of friendships and dating. Brody bans his son Mike from sailing. After some false alarms, Brody’s fired by the town Assembly. Mike and his friends all sail out in half a dozen boats, taking 10-year old Sean Brody with then as he said he’d tell if they didn’t. After they leave, a diver is attacked by a shark, and surfaces too fast. The shark then chases the kids' boats. Brody, learning what’s happened, commandeers the police boat and heads after them.

When the shark attacks, the boats collide forming a big drifting and sinking raft. A Coast Guard helicopter comes and tries to tow them to Cable Island, the island where the telephone and electric cables to Amity go, but the shark attacks it and capsizes it. Brody arrives and the film comes to a conclusion.

In an effort to recreate the tense at sea finale of Jaws, they have a rather contrived accident, barely made believable by the slightly reckless sailing of the teens that’s been set up. And that final section does go on a bit, not as well paced as the original. The original is a classic for a reason; this is a slightly inferior sequel.

Watch This: Tense, shark-and-sailing thriller
Don’t Watch This: The shark and other effects are not up to scratch

9. A Passage To India (1965)

A film of the play by Santha Rama Rau, based on the novel by E M Forster. Dr Aziz meets Mrs Moore and in an effort to improve Anglo-Indian relations joins a tea party at Mr Fielding’s home. There he meets Mrs Moore and Adela Quested; Adela has come out to India to marry Ronny, Mrs Moore’s son, also the chief magistrate of the district. Although a little awkward they agree to have a trip out to the Marabar caves.

Fielding is delayed by Professor Godbole so the two women are escorted by Dr Aziz. Mrs Moore is exhausted; they are all strangely effected by the caves and the heat. Dr Aziz and Adela go to a cave where she is assaulted and runs away. Dr Aziz is arrested.

There is a trial; Ronny recuses himself to the shock and horror of the British community as his deputy is an Indian. Mrs Moore leaves on a ship, and dies before she can give evidence. After a handful of dramatic presentations Dr Aziz is acquitted, Adela admitting she was too disoriented by the caves to know who assaulted her. Aziz and Fielding part with Aziz no longer seeking to fit into British-ruled India and declaring that he and Fielding cannot be friends until Indians rule themselves.

Filmed as a Play Of The Month for the BBC, the vast majority is in long scenes in sets with a handful of outdoor shots that add little (it’s in black and white). A powerful performance from Dr Aziz’s actor (Zia Mohyeddin) who begins as too eager, and ends with smouldering hatred.

Watch This: Strong historical drama with much to say of the failures of British India
Don’t Watch This: There’s a well received 1984 film adaption that takes full advantage of the medium rather than this stiflingly staged play

10. Pride And Prejudice (1940)

Mr and Mrs Bennett have five daughters, serious Jane, witty Elizabeth, studious and musical Mary and flighty Lydia and Kitty. Their estate is entailed to a male relative so at least one of them, and hopefully more, need to marry well to support themselves (and the others). When rich Mr Bingley takes up residence locally Jane and he are attracted to each other.

Unfortunately both Mr Bingley’s sister and his friend Mr Darcy think this a poor match; Elizabeth overhearing Darcy being rude about the locals. When a regiment of troops arrives locally Kitty and Lydia are immediately attracted to them, yet it’s one of them, a Mr Wickham, who is delightfully rude and so Elizabeth is drawn to him. It turns out he knows Mr Darcy and spills some gossip to make her dislike him still more.

Inevitably in a crisis it’s Darcy who comes through and Wickham who is a rogue. Here we see the novel by Jane Austen, a lightly satirical comedy of manners, make it’s turn towards being viewed as a romantic comedy. There’s a lot of big dresses and fun balls, of quaint shops and big drawing rooms. Indeed these are not of the period when it was written, but later clothes and styles. Although there’s still satire it’s lost it’s edge, preferring snappy witty dialogue to making a sharp point.

Watch This: Glorious, sometimes very funny, black and white period romantic comedy
Don’t Watch This: So many adaption, yet the novel is always more multi-faceted