Battle Pig

 

12 months ago I published my research into a forgotten children's cartoon/toy franchise for subscribers to my Patreon. Now I am letting you all learn about...

BATTLE PIG

In the CRAZY future of 1998, mankind cowers under the tyrannical rule of the alien VORTEXMUNCHERS. In the ruins of NEW LONDON they spend their days hiding in underground tunnels, emerging at night to scavenge the remnants of the fallen world. Their only hope is the ANIMAL SOLDIERS created by DOCTOR ZAX.

BATTLE PIG is a strong fighter whose loyal heart and capacity for friendship is hidden by his gruff armoured exterior and brief explosions of insults. When he calls his comrades “Lower than cockroaches,” it is because he loves them so much he hopes for more; when he cries out “VORTEX eat this miserable specimens,” it is because only in combat can he express his true feelings. When his catchphrase, “Get to **** you son of a bitch gun,” echoes out across the shattered remnants of the wrecked city, both friends and foes know that his righteous fury will be unleashed.

BATTLE PIG wears the BOAR’S HEAD HELMET and strikes at his enemies with his infamous SAUSAGE GUN. At close range he fights with a matching pair of BUTCHER’S KNIVES.

His archenemy is VORTLEON a hideous half-human half-alien creature who hunts him through the broken buildings of NEW LONDON, threatening to “make a bacon sandwich of you BATTLE PIG!” But no matter how hard he hunts, BATTLE PIG is always one step ahead, leaving behind traps to mutilate delay his pursuers.

See BATTLE PIG’s exploits every Saturday Morning on [INSERT LOCAL TV STATION HERE] and create your own adventures with BATTLE PIG, ZOMBIE GOOSE, SCRATCHCAT, HONKING HORSE and THE GREAT EAR toys. Accessories sold separately.

[Marketing copy for the 1983 children’s cartoon and toy line WARNIMALS. Master tapes of all 78 14-minute episodes were destroyed in the same warehouse fire that burned the Christmas toy supplies. As such only second hand documentation remains.]