I Read Books: Still Alive by L J Pemberton

 Still Alive by L J Pemberton from Malarkey Books

When V was young there was a car accident outside the family house and a man's head came off. In every chapter of Still Alive she circles back to her unhappy childhood, telling us more about how the family ground out their lives in Portland Oregon.

She collects skulls, animal skulls. Her best one, a raccoon, was found with her friend Leroy. Her best friend, her other brother. (Her not-other-brother goes to Asia in search of spiritual enlightenment, might or might not find it, comes home, gets married). Leroy appears in every chapter, guiding, or not, revealing, or not, being a friend when needed.

It's with Leroy that V meet Lex, a butch lesbian. V and Lex fall in lust, in love, entwine themselves around each other, fall out of love, cheat, disagree. Travel to New York together to live then split up. Travel to LA together to live. Lex paints, and some of it's good, but it turns into a curator job. V writes, on and off, and supports herself through office and temp work. Lex is in every chapter, even when they're not together. This is the 21st century, even when apart V can track her on social media.

V navigates her way across various America, queer and straight, artistic and mundane, millennial and after. She's part of a generation without signposts, and she wanders, not quite lost. Her family was one thing when she was a child, but now they've remade themselves, her father making a new, happier family. What does it mean when she keeps splitting from Lex, the love of her life, then getting back, then splitting again? Or is she the love of her life, her life's not over.

Read This: A novel of loving and failing to love, growing up and failing to grow up, and living in an increasingly confusing America
Don't Read This: You wanted answers
I Read An Advanced Copy: Provided by Malarkey Books