I Watch Films: Iron Mask
Iron Mask
Jackie Chan is a kung fu master who has been imprisoned and sent to the far side of the world (The Tower Of London). Arnold Schwarzenegger is Captain Hook, warden of the Tower, collector of various dubious artefacts, who offers prisoners a chance to fight for their freedom.
The film’s version of 18th century London is as accurate as every other historical element. Anyway Peter The First* of Russia is locked up there in an iron mask. Jonathan Green, cartographer extraordinaire has discovered this and sends a message home
Only after I watched did I discover this is the second in a series, which clarifies a couple of early scenes and why Jonathan has a CGI imp companion. Anyway Jonathan escapes from Russia, having discovered that the Tsar is an impersonator, with a Chinese Princess and protegee of Jackie Chan, who is disguised as a boy. They head for China. Jonathan’s fiancée Lady Anna releases Peter, the two of them stow aboard a ship that is also going to China.
Tea, it turns out, is the eyelashes of a dragon, that grows up from the cave it lives in and has healing qualities. But the bad guys have usurped Jackie Chan and his followers to chain the dragon and force more to grow. Peter, Jonathan, Anna, the Princess and a few others have to overthrow them.
Jackie Chan and Arnie are mostly absent after their fight in the Tower Of London, in which Arnie says Jackie is the best fighter, and Jackie says Arnie is the strongest. This is somewhat undercut by the fact that all the fights and stunts are cut to hell, each move edited to the next, completely hiding the fact that some cool stuff is going on, albeit against a CGI background.
Watch This: Some lovely scenery and you want an undemanding
historical action film
Don’t Watch This: If you want your historical fantasy action
to have history, or for that matter some fantasy and action worth the name
* This is how they refer to him in the film, rather than Tsar Peter (probably most accurate) or Peter The Great as he’s better known today
Comments