In The Service Of Lord Vladimir The Abominable
In The Service of Lord Vladimir the Abominable
“When you said you had been taken into the service of Lord Vladimir the Abominable I did not envisage... this.” The Eldritch Terror, Master of the Troll Legions, waved his black armoured arm about to indicate the vast stony hall. The furniture had been piled to one end, the carpets and hangings removed and in the middle sat Talonor, his red scaly body always moving, sinewy snake frame twisting and turning in a knot. The dragon took a mouthful of water from a barrel and steam blasted the floor.
“This is the modern age Terror.” The voice insinuated itself throughout the hall, reaching into every nook and cranny just as the superheated steam had just done, cleansing every piece of dirt. “War is a matter of precise movements and gunpowder, and perhaps even more fought with ideas in the hearts and minds of men. What use a dragon against a regiment of sharpshooters – or the concept of a nation?”
“Still,” said the Terror, spike armoured shoulders shrugging, dark eyeholes in the helmet flashing red for a moment. “To be working as a scullery maid...”
“A necessary profession and an honourable one,” hissed Talonor. “Perhaps more so than losing an entire army to an improvised force led by a young colonel of artillery.”
“Yes, quite.” He remained silent for a moment as Talonor dipped his tongue in the barrel to dilute his acid venom, then proceeded to lick the chandelier clean. “I wonder if...”
“As it happens, there might well be an opening in the deep dark depths of Castle Venom.” This was more like it. The Eldritch Terror imagined himself as gaoler, torturer, perhaps even guard captain. Something with a future. “There was an unfortunate accident. Somehow the under-butler was snapped in half and his lordship is in need of a new curator for his wine cellar...”
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This was the July 2019 patron reward for subscribers to my Patreon, based off an off-hand comment about dragons working as steam cleaner. Subscribe to my Patreon to support my writing and get access to the last twelve months of rewards, or don't and wait until I release it for free when the whim takes me.
“When you said you had been taken into the service of Lord Vladimir the Abominable I did not envisage... this.” The Eldritch Terror, Master of the Troll Legions, waved his black armoured arm about to indicate the vast stony hall. The furniture had been piled to one end, the carpets and hangings removed and in the middle sat Talonor, his red scaly body always moving, sinewy snake frame twisting and turning in a knot. The dragon took a mouthful of water from a barrel and steam blasted the floor.
“This is the modern age Terror.” The voice insinuated itself throughout the hall, reaching into every nook and cranny just as the superheated steam had just done, cleansing every piece of dirt. “War is a matter of precise movements and gunpowder, and perhaps even more fought with ideas in the hearts and minds of men. What use a dragon against a regiment of sharpshooters – or the concept of a nation?”
“Still,” said the Terror, spike armoured shoulders shrugging, dark eyeholes in the helmet flashing red for a moment. “To be working as a scullery maid...”
“A necessary profession and an honourable one,” hissed Talonor. “Perhaps more so than losing an entire army to an improvised force led by a young colonel of artillery.”
“Yes, quite.” He remained silent for a moment as Talonor dipped his tongue in the barrel to dilute his acid venom, then proceeded to lick the chandelier clean. “I wonder if...”
“As it happens, there might well be an opening in the deep dark depths of Castle Venom.” This was more like it. The Eldritch Terror imagined himself as gaoler, torturer, perhaps even guard captain. Something with a future. “There was an unfortunate accident. Somehow the under-butler was snapped in half and his lordship is in need of a new curator for his wine cellar...”
****
This was the July 2019 patron reward for subscribers to my Patreon, based off an off-hand comment about dragons working as steam cleaner. Subscribe to my Patreon to support my writing and get access to the last twelve months of rewards, or don't and wait until I release it for free when the whim takes me.
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